Avoid negative pples
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade.. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.   A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to   Rome with her husband..  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:   " Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?"  "We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"   " Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome  ?" "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's   Tiber River called Teste."   "Don't go any further. I know that place.  Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump." "We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him.  He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."   A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .   "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..   And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."   "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.   Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."   "Oh, really!  What'd he say ?"     He said: "Who ****ed up your hair?"  

Chuyện xẩy ra khoảng 18-19 năm trước đây (1992-93) dưới thời ông Clinton làm Tổng Thống và ông Al Gore làm Phó Tổng Thống.

Một hôm sau khi việc lớn về dự trù ngân sách đã xong TT Clinton mời ông bà PTT vào toà Bạch Ốc ăn cơm tối thân mật. Vì là thân mật nên ăn uống thoải mái, thả dàn. Sau một hồi ăn và uống hơi nhiều PTT Al Gore xin lỗi để vào nhà tiêu và khá lâu. Ít phút sau, khi bữa cơm đã tàn thì vợ chồng PTT Al Gore ra về và vợ lái xe. Trên xe Al Gore lè nhè, giọng nhừa nhựa say mèm than phiền với vợ ”Thật anh không thể ngờ dược là cán cân chi phó quốc gia đang thâm thủng nặng mà toà Bạch Ốc sài sang quá!” “Sang làm sao?” Tip ngắt lời chồng. “Em không thể tưởng tượng nổi là bồn đi tiểu mạ vàng sáng loáng như ở mấy xứ Ả Rập. Bọn Cộng Hoà mà biết thế này thì họ …đập mình chết!” Bà vợ Al Gore cũng hơi e ngại và nói “Để em hỏi chị Hillary xem sao?”. Vậy là ngay khi về tới nhà bà vợ Al Gore liền dùng điện thoại có gắn loa phóng thanh (speaker phone) để hai vợ chồng cùng nghe và gọi vào tòa Bạch Ốc gặp Đệ Nhất phu nhân. Sau khi vắn tắt thuật lại lời của chồng thì Hillary vội vàng xin lỗi nói rằng “Chị chờ một chút nhé!” và qua loa phóng thanh ở máy điện thọai ông bà Al Gore nghe rõ ràng “Bill! Bill! Thôi đừng than phiền nữa, bây giờ em biết là ai đã …đi tiểu vào cái kèn xaxo của anh rồi!”

Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested ?
HAROLD: A teacher

Woman asks: If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps
with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come

Man replies:



It's very simple. Conficius say 'When one lock can be opened by 3
different keys, it's a bad lock.
But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a "master key".

Confucius would not have time for this crap you should learn how to type right before putting down this kind da joke !


<<Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes !!!
Confucius
Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC - 479 BC)>>




Ablue

Confucius khuyên bao nhiều thì tôi phải nghe lời bấy nhiều

I ♥ this one the most

A couple were still doing last minute Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the shops were packed.



As the wife walked through the mall she looked round but had lost sight of her husband.




As the wife walked through the mall she looked round but had lost sight of her husband.
She was quite annoyed because they had a lot to do – It was late, and she was worried so she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was ?
In a calm voice, the husband said, " Darling, you remember the jewellery shop we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with a diamond necklace that we could n’t afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day ? "



The wife choked and started to cry and said, " Yes, I remember that jewellery shop."
He said, " Well, I'm in the bar next to it."

Happy NY Em Randy.


Pop the Balloons.... afterwards, use click on hand holding fireworks.



http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/st...d_16961_rs.swf