i feel so depress right now and it all started when i first met him. if you asked me why i'm married to a guy who make my life miserable? my answer is i don't know. maybe i was blinded by what i thought was love. since meeting him we move in together and had been thru the ups and down of the economic. because of him i've live on the street for more than a week, but i can't blame him for all the misfortune that happen to me. my life have been tragic since little and thought that everything will be better living in america but i was wrong. everyone who sees me thinks that i have a great life. married, loving husband, a beautiful little girl but no one know whats behind all that fake happiness.
i was dumb, i couldn't get a college degree even though i've been in college for so many years. eventually i drop out and works odds job that pay minimum wages. i couldn't hold a job for more than 5 months without quitting.(not that i want to quit it just that something problem have to come up causing me to quit such as: a death a the family, night time job w/o sleep, pregnancy) as for him. he use to be like me but he got lucky and a friend introduce him to a job that makes over 60g's a year. Now his personality went from bad to worst. he went from someone who called me lazy to fat and lazy and worthless. he said i didn't wanted to work. and when i told him that someone had gotten me a job that pay by quota he yells at me and said that i'm too simple minded and that he didn't care about how much money i make just as long as i can get a job that have insurance so he didn't have to spend a grand a year paying for our family insurance.
i'm not happy in this relationship at all but i don't know how to get out. i don't a dime in my pocket right now and my baby. what's going to happen to my baby. i can't support her when minimum wage. i can't asked my parent for help because i didn't want them to be sad because of me. beside my mom is sick.
just recently i found out that he talks to his ex online. he talks to her over fb and talk lots of craps about how he wanted to me relax and be a stay at home mom. he brags to her how good of a father he is and how good of a husband he is. how happy he is being marry. for a moment i almost cracked up reading his message to her. Lord knows how fake and untrue all of it were.

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You have too many issues happening at the same time. My advice is to concentrate on the most important one and then go to the next. Such as taking good care of your child, improve your self image, get a good job, then dump the cheap bastard. It's easier said than done but not impossible. Good luck.

Can you ask your or husband's parents to watch your daughter so you can go back to school?

You have to sort out what your priorities are, try to accomplish one at a time.

Life is hard.:hug :hug :hug

I am sorry, but I don't agree with you that your husband is fake man. He brad to his ex girl friend that he is happy with you, bec he know what she is up to and don't want her to break your marriage apart. Another word send her away for good. On the other hand, if he brad with your mom how great he treat but mistreat you behind their back. I will agree with you that he is fake.

When life throw you a lemon make lemonate. Everyday of our life is a decision making, ex, wake up, eat, marriage, get a job, hang out with friend, stop at the stop sign...etc. You make the best the decision at the time that was present to you, regardless what it is, it was the best choice at that time. Of course, if the pass opportunities present to again today, you will make a better choice. WHY?? you are getting older and wiser each and every day of your life. My point is live with the present and learn to be positive. You get stress out when he call you fat and lazy because deep deep down inside you feel that way too, the true hurt sometimes.

So, what can you do improve yourself to the a dream girl that you always want to be, get a college degree that you wish you have, be thin if you want (ONLY IF YOU WANT), or stay fat but if anyone say you fat....you just laugh it off and say I am glad I am fat bec this is what I want...:-). I mean confident...confident confident. When you are confident in your own skin you are less likely to get defensive when you are being judge by other. Good luck.

I am confused. First of all, every relationship has issue, so don't try to quit prior to seek all solutions to solve it. When expection isn't met, people is going to be pished. His expectation for you is to change your style of thinking from who you are and who can you be, it sound bad but it is probably better for you anyway. If you make 10 bucks an hour and you want to make 15 buck an hour, you need to sacrify, get a better education, for example, you don't have to get 4 years degree, phamacy tech, dental assistant, x-ray tech, or nail tech, etc.... whatever. You got to embrace your highest standard and think big. Forget what happened to you and how you chose your way into this mess, focus what are you going to do next is more important. Better choices will most likely to be awarded with better consequences and start today, think of what you can do to help yourself to have a better life tomorrow. Depressing ain't going to help you jack. It ain't right to judge a wife by call her fat but it ain't right to have a right to be unhealthy either, if you feel you need to boot our confidence, do something to help yourfelf. Communication is the most important thing when craft like this happen in marrage. Think wise, speak wise, and act wisely. It doesn't mean your husband give you sh't, you are going to take it. Tell him, look azzwhole, I stay home take care our kid, our house, cooking, etc..., don't you give me that sh't, don't be afraid, if you need you parents, they will take you back all you have to do is be honest with them.

the reason I am really confuse is "that he didn't care about how much money i make just as long as i can get a job that have insurance so he didn't have to spend a grand a year paying for our family insurance." if you don't care much about money, 1000 a year for insurance ain't nothing.

Hi sis,

I felt your pain, or at least I think you're somewhat confused a/b your life and everything around you, especially he's in it.

Q for you: Who would love you if he ever leave you (sound like he'll at anytime or until he use up all you have)?

and Remember this, LOVE YOURSELF first, b/c no one will love you back once you're alone on street again..

You've lost your study and almost everything already. I've witness many women like you can't survive b/c of your sensitive side, but you know what, you're killing yourself every day ..so I hope you'll try harder to think for yourself, go back to you parents if you have to, it's not a shame or anything, they're your parents and I'm sure they'll love you for whatever happen to you. It's their job to protect and love you forever.

Until you go back to your parents, you'll turn your life around, if not, you'll kill yourself every day..

I wish you, nothing but the best and I hope you'll try your hardest to do nothing but to love yourself now..Remember NOW is all you have...so please use it wisely...

TL

thank you all for you advice and sympathy.

Dep_qua: thanks i'm trying to sort out my problem right now.

ThenNnow:
i will never let that lady babysit my baby. i don't want her mind to be corrupted like her. i don't know how rich she is but she look down on people.
i remember last year when my husband and i filed tax. she asked me why our tax return so low. i told her that because i work too so that's why we didn't get that much back. she acted surprised. i still remember her words "mi ma di lam nua a?" she acted like i live off of her son and never work a day. plus she thinks that i'm not compatible with him, she told him that and i heard it from the other room. (he is not good looking at all).
his family thinks very highly of themselves and look down upon those who make less.

Maxwell:
i miss type the insurance amount. it's actually 1g a month that he have to paid. he didn't want to paid that much because of me. he only included me into his insurance because i was preggo. right after i gave birth he took my name out of his health insurance policy because he said it cost him too much. that's the reason why he wanted me to get a job with health insurance so that he won't have to paid for it.
i'm fat but i'm not unhealthy. i don't have any blood problem for healthy issues. my pregnancy was healthy too. eating is a way to eat away my sorrow. wish i can change it.
i've been suffering from depression before i met him due to family pressure. i was like this when i met him and he had a choice not to be with me so why do this to me after marriage.

du lang:
i don't think he is trying to push his ex away, because he was the one that search for her on his fb and he is the one that greet her first. i can tell from the msg. she dumped him in the past. i guess he brag because he want to show her that he move on w/o her, but it only show how much he misses her.
if i have a second chance and time turn back. i would walk the other way if i see him approaching me on the street. that's how regretful i am. (but my poor baby)

Tuyetlanh7:
i wish i can tell my parent but if i do it will only make things worst. they're already upset becuz being preggo got into marrying him. it was my fault that i let it go this far. it's hard to turn back. (my parent cung coi trong mac muoi very traditional)

I'm sorry, I will have to agree with your husband. When you don't take care of yourself, your image and have no ambition about anything, you basically give men the reason to lose respect for you. When people say they can't hold a job, get a better job, go back to school, lose weight, look good, because of x, y, z, it's nothing more than excuses not to change. Your reasons for quitting jobs after 5 months are unacceptable. 1. Death of a family? Normal people would take a couple weeks off, not quit all together. 2. Grave yard shift and lack of sleep? I work 12hr shifts grave yard. 3. Pregnancy? I'm sorry, I don't pity you here. I don't know any females who quit a job just because they are pregnant. I know nurses who are pregnant, they are on their feet 12hrs a day and working grave yard.

I work with a lot of nurses, CNA and techs who were once high school/college drop outs due to being pregnant or being a single mother. I asked them how they were able to get back on their feet and have the career that they have today? Their answers were all the same: "Worked my ass off," "Gave up on sleep." And they all decided on healthcare because they know it will pay enough to support them and their child. So, if you look at others who are in the same situation as you are and they are much more successful...what are they doing that you are not doing? How come some single mothers without family/child support are able to go back to school to start a career and some aren't?? I think comes down to 3 things: hardwork, determination and having strong will. Maybe see if you have these things and work on improving them. Good luck