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ken tran.
Old 07-20-2005 , 11:21 AM       Quote  
thank for your time to stop by and read my writing.

I have a big question for you guys here. if you just find out that your lovely wife in vn is no longer a virgin like you thought before, would you still love her as the way she is??? Cuz, i'm in this situation right now and dont know what to do with her since i just found out yesterday that she is no longer a virgin as i thought. Becasue back then when we first met over a online chatting, i did not ask her much about her characteristics and stuff like that. Now it seems like i'm in a deeply love her so i tend to know more detail about her family her personal lives. But then it hurts so much when she said that she used to have 2 bf in the past and she did have sex with both of them. The bad thing about me is i had aredy promised to get marired with her and stuff like that. If i chance my mind for some reason, i'm prety sure it will hurt her alot since she is fall in love with me for over a year from now. In the past 1 yr, we exchange a gift for each other, couple times aready. She sometimes send me a letter, her creatived card....etc. and so do i. But i never send her any $ those. So what shoudl i do? pls be serious advice since ii'm still in the deep hurt.

thank so much.

have a great day.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:32 AM     MeoHoang est dconnect  search   Quote  
Virgin is important for some men and to me too. But since you guys been in the relationship for so long and you said you're deeply in love with her then you should forgive her. But people alway says "forgive but not forget" so you should think about it whether or not you can forgive and also forget about her past. But she did have sex with her 2 ex, and maybe you in the future or maybe someone after you. Don't get me wrong, I'm saying that because I think she didn't knows how to control her sex life and her relationship then why you should being so nice and act like nothing happened. She has sex with her 2 ex, TWO, is not a good number and you will be her third one. Do you know if she gets any bacterium from her 2 ex and pass it on to you ? you'll never know. So, think carefully
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:34 AM     NVK79 est dconnect  search   Quote  
-Did you have gf's in the past?
-Did you have sex with them?
-So your first priority is "virginity" when it comes to marrying someone ?

You should thank god that she was honest to tell you about her past. The past is the past, she didn't know you then, why bother to care? She should have other qualities for you to love right?

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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:35 AM     oncelove est dconnect  search   Quote  
Dear Ken:

The past is the past.."We shall learn from our past but shall not live in it".....what you have with her now is present and future.

If you both are still care and love for one another like you stated, keep on rolling my friend....

Best wishes!
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:38 AM     OneShot est dconnect  search   Quote  
the past is the past, yeah right, the past is the problem in the future. Just dump her, a lot of fresh fishes out there! watch out Sharks
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:41 AM     AlmostALoser est dconnect  search   Quote  
At least she is being honest... Do you know how much is cost to sew "IT" back in vietnam? I heard it's pretty cheap...
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:41 AM     oncelove est dconnect  search   Quote  

totally agreed with your reply....people should not be too narrow would be alot happier and easier..
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:43 AM     DoneDeal est dconnect  search   Quote  
Anh Ken,
If you value "V" higher than anything in your future marriage, then drop her and move on to a different girl.
There are thousands of Virgin VN girls in VN who are beautiful and traditional. Go and find them when you go there for your next trip.
Don't waste your brain here thinking about it too much. It damages your sex life later on.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:44 AM     OneCoolGuy est dconnect  search   Quote  
Look at it this way. At least you don't have to teach her anything in bed.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 11:45 AM     AnhDepTraiCA est dconnect  search   Quote  
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Old 07-20-2005 , 12:00 PM     DreamMaker88 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Ken, I'm sure you fell in love with her for who she is. You fell in love with the person, not with the premise that she was a virgin. Does the fact she had a relationship with two prior bf's change that love? If it doesn't and you can both forgive and forget what transpired before you two met, continue with the relationship. She's honest enough to tell you about her past, the fact that she is no longer a virgin doesn't change the kind of person she is, she's still the same person as when you first met and is still the same person today.

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Old 07-20-2005 , 12:16 PM     KoCoAiYeu est dconnect  search   Quote  
Everyone has a past.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 12:36 PM     Younggun007 est dconnect  search   Quote  
You're weird and narrow minded.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 01:14 PM     TheLostBoy est dconnect  search   Quote  
You should feel thankful for her being honest and has the courage to the you the truth... Surely, a lot of girls who are in the relationships with the Viet Kieu's want to come to US, and they do not have the courage to tell their partners the truth... Your gf did, and this tells you that she is a person with characteristics.

She had sex with her bfs before meeting you, not during or after, so it's socially acceptable. Please do not be so harsh on her, for you two are in love. And that is all matter. The past is the past, and there is nothing wrong with having intimacy with the one you love. Their (ex) relationship just didn't work out, unfortunately. No one can predict the furture exactly.

Remember, when you have the love you love, you have everything... Look no where else.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 01:39 PM     langdzu est dconnect  search   Quote  
Well, if you're a virgin then you have the right to expect she is too and if she's not you can dump her. If you're not a virgin then it's unreasonable to expect that. It's true that we love a person for who he/she is but many times we cannot know 100% how that person is so we assume this and that. If we think or expect that person is a virgin then we assume she is this or that good and based on this good or that good thing we're more inclined to fall in love. This is a very common and normal mistake people make in relationship.

People often say the past is the past and you shouldn't care. I call it *bs* The past made who you are now in the present. People care and judge who you were and what you did all the times because people are not psychic to know who you're really are and what you're really doing now. Maybe your present is totally different from the past but until it's proven so by you, people will use your past against you. Now... is having sexual intercourses with 2 bfs a good thing or bad thing in her past? It's up to you to decide according to your personal values with consideration of our cultural and traditional beliefs.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 05:17 PM     Advice4Me est dconnect  search   Quote  
i might sound biased, but if the girl is here, who cares, but since she's in VN, dump her azz ... virginity is not too much of an issue, but how she lost it is. 90% of girls in VN don't just lose it, they sold it to the highest bidder.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 06:17 PM     susan est dconnect  search   Quote  
yeah if girl in vn lost her virgin then dump her!!! she is not worth it. SHE HAD SEX W/ BOTH OF THEM? SHE MUST up to SOMETHING!!!
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Old 07-20-2005 , 06:47 PM     Kellia est dconnect  search   Quote  
This topic is getting old. This is not the 1800s.
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Old 07-20-2005 , 07:06 PM     Beer35 est dconnect  search   Quote  

has the virginity always been the sole criterium that you base on to choose your girl friend? if it is, then like many other people said you need to relax your rule. Go w/ the flow of this culture.

if it's not, then maybe the isssue is not about your girlfriend lossing her virginity but about trust, you may not have trust in her , and the vrigin thing is just the convenient reason for you to have unfavorbly feeling agsint her ; she's pretty and been through 2 past experiences , tin`h cu~ khong ru~ cung~ dde^'n , you're here she's over there , you dont' have enough dose of physical contact to creat the trust

once you got her here , her ex's and she'll be ocean aprt, you'll have the life time to create new memory in her . are you a good lover ?
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Old 07-20-2005 , 07:09 PM     BuonViAi83 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Are you marrying her because you love her or because she is a virgin or not? If her virginity is more important than her personality, then please leave her so you don't have to think so much, and she doesn't have to suffer later on..

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