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Old 07-28-2006 , 08:54 PM     johnlt est dconnect  search   Quote  
"it's easy to destroy but hard to build".

To whom are you addressing? The cheater is the one who destroys here. It's as clear as daylight to me.

Another thing is that the building process is over. What does she build when she cheats? It is not even about rebuilding. It is a rebuilding thing when you divorce and build a relationship and a family with a new person. This is about fixing, mending, repairing, and curing. It is like breaking a vase and trying to put the pieces back together. Life isn't a vase literally, but the idea is there. You will never have the same vase again.

Also it is not just about whether you still love her or not. It is about whether she loves you or not as well. If she loves you then why did she cheat on you? Especially with a low-life such as your so-called friend! Do YOU ever want to hurt someone that you truly love?

Here's a cliche for you: "It takes 2 to tango."

Last edited by johnlt; 07-29-2006 at 01:55 PM..
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Old 07-31-2006 , 08:47 AM     dulang est dconnect  search   Quote  
Did you have any problem conceiving (having kids)? Is she ever address concern of having kid or afraid she could not conceiving and you don’t want her anymore? From what you describing your marriage relationship and from woman view she is not cheated on you for sex. But could be for baby. I know it sound too drama but when you in love you will feel insecure and make a wrong move. Your wife is right, why she confess when she did not get cause. No gain so what the motive? She love you and she did what she can, the plan did not work and could not live with the guilt. Your 7 years long old friend denied, to him it is a free lunch. But your wife broke the promise and it could cause him his happy home of course he denied.

Or your wife think allot about your friend and illuminate all the action and could not tell whether it real action or in her dream. Take her to the psychology ASAP. This is danger illness and it getting worse if is not treated properly.
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Old 12-19-2006 , 05:44 AM     nht42 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Ther best thing is go to see a good marriage counseler, yuo firstn , then both of you together if there is a possible conciliation.
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Old 01-14-2007 , 10:45 AM     Xautrai71 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Just forgive her now , we are men right??,but keep in your mind next time she cheat ,she won't tell you again and i sure she will cheat again.
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Old 01-14-2007 , 04:19 PM     YenNhiPA est dconnect  search   Quote  
because u guy have 2 kids together already, and her first time, i think u should forgive her....nếu thương con thì bỏ qua đi, no one is perfect this world, nhưng keep eyes on her more often
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Old 01-29-2007 , 03:00 PM     tinahuynhh est dconnect  search   Quote  
Quote :
Originally Posted by FreeLoader
I forgave my wife 2 times . one time was 2 years ago and 1 time with another man at her work place 1 year ago. when I went to vietnam she here tried to look for some1 too so when I got back here I dumped her ass for good . Ngua quen duong cu~, sluts can't be changed. so yo better dump her now or regret later . lotta fish in the sea .
U mind if I ask why didn't you go back to VN with ur wife? Instead, you went there alone. Không có lửa thì sao có khói, right?
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Old 01-30-2007 , 01:36 PM     MoonMoon est dconnect  search   Quote  
Please be strong! I know deep down inside it really hurts, especially when you come home to your own house, seeing the incident kept replaying itself over and over again. First of all, I would sell the house, because the house will bring back the bad memories every time I'm in it.
Second, do not associate with her until the incident has passed your mind, and third, go out and have lots of fun.
Hope you soon recover.
take care!

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Old 02-01-2007 , 08:25 PM     what_if? est dconnect  search   Quote  
if forgiveness make you feel better then hate her....I think pplz deserve a second chance...How can you be sure she's change? no one can have that answer for you....beside you must find out yourself........time will tell you the truth that you need to know........

to me...beable to forgive a person, is the best thing in the entire world...but how many are there can actually do that??? not many can do because we all self-fish....and we all just too fragile when we come to love........and the simple thing is we just human...........we are not god

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Old 02-04-2007 , 04:15 PM     hoaicamSJ est dconnect  search   Quote  

Have you ever asked yourself why your wife did that? It's not her fault totally, ban cung co trach nhiem mot phan trong ay. Khong co nguoi dan ba nao ngoai tinh khi ho song trong hanh phuc va trong vong tay thuong yeu cua chong ho. Cai gi cung co' nguyen nhan cua no'.

Ban can phai hieu ro van de truoc khi do^? to^.i cho nguoi dan ba. Ban cung co loi mot phan la ban qua lo* la`, khong de y' den tam ly cua vo minh. Den khi biet duoc thi chuyen da lo*~. Dan ba von yeu duoi va nhay cam., ho can su san soc va lo lang cua nguoi chong.
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Old 05-09-2007 , 04:37 PM     Andytranca est dconnect  search   Quote  
May be this is not her first time. Most women are worst than man. Sex addict!!! Please don't forgive. Once a cheater will always be a cheater.
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Old 05-10-2007 , 11:39 AM     Kimm est dconnect  search   Quote  

JohnNg, Sorry. OMG, What's a mess huh. What's wrong with people now a day. Why can't they be faithful. As for now I think it's best if you can find someone to talk to and try to be calm so it will help you to decide what to do. If you leave here and move on with you life you will heal over time just like mo^.t ca/i wound dda~ ddu*o*.c la`nh. Of course the scar is still there but it's already healed and it won't cause any pain to you. On the other hand if you choose to stay and thinking that you can work things out then you will always think of the mistake that she has done. You will constantly watch and snooping around to check on her. You will bring this very issue up when you argu and it will be like that for the rest of your marriage. And that is not healthy. This is my inputs and it's comming from my own experience. Please take care. She doesn't deserve you Johnng.

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Old 06-15-2007 , 10:12 PM     kluverbucy est dconnect  search   Quote  
Kim ỏi, mình đi dạo biển và trò chuyện tình cảm lãn mạng nhé? đả bao lâu không gập, vậy thì mình up all night okey?
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Old 06-18-2007 , 02:04 PM     embuon714 est dconnect  search   Quote  
My husband cheated on me 2 yrs ago. My mom ask me to forgive him and give have a chance to change. I asked him to stop calling that lady. But he never listen to me, he kept calling and text messaging her everyday. I even went out at 3 am and 4 am in early morning look all over him. I want to see where he was at. He cheat on me when my daughter was only close to 2 yrs old. Before I found out, he kept saying to me that he went out but never cheating on me. Maybe that was the hint to me, but I trusted him. I told him to move out so both of us can calm down. I told him to think over because we have a daughter. Two day or so after he move out the house, my brother saw him at the Liquor store near by our house. My brother saw him went out with a lady at midnight. I asked him, he said "she could not have him go out alone at midnight, she has to go with him to escort him." He thought I am still a kid or something. After that, I file for divorce. I divorce for 2 yrs now. I just want to raise my daughter and just focus on her. One a person cheat, he/she cheater. If you can change a black dog to a white dog. Then person can change. This took me to heal at least close to a year with my family support.
My question to you, do you have any kid with your wife. Just curious.
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Old 06-23-2007 , 10:12 PM     MeoHoang est dconnect  search   Quote  
Why people have to cheat ? before getting married they loved us so much and want to get married with us but after that they love someone else I'm too scared of getting married now **sigh**
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Old 06-25-2007 , 01:04 PM     FreeLoader est dconnect  search   Quote  
Quote :
Originally Posted by MeoHoang
Why people have to cheat ? before getting married they loved us so much and want to get married with us but after that they love someone else I'm too scared of getting married now **sigh**
no1 will marry you anyway, why worry ?
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Old 06-29-2007 , 09:44 AM     maleman est dconnect  search   Quote  
get even......and forgive each other kekeke
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Old 07-05-2007 , 08:23 PM     thanhan69 est dconnect  search   Quote  
file a divorce and move on,that kind of wife u don't need she did once and she can does twice those people never change
Good luck
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Old 07-05-2007 , 08:34 PM     thanhan69 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Quote :
Originally Posted by MeoHoang
Why people have to cheat ? before getting married they loved us so much and want to get married with us but after that they love someone else I'm too scared of getting married now **sigh**
yeah,why why why man are 10 out of 1 woman only 3out of 10
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Old 07-07-2007 , 02:14 PM     motdoikhodau est dconnect  search   Quote  
Hello JN,

As a woman i am going to tell you something.......i am a married woman and i love my husband dearly. It's so had when i ended up talking to men (friends) some men out there would say anything just to get into our pants and being married turned them on more then anything. Some of us women are weaker then others, words tamed our hearts and thought she love you, i know so cause she cared for you and about you, she either felted lonely and was talked into sex with him. They are both wrong but who started should it even matter.

JN, let me ask you. DO YOU STILL LOVE HER?

If your answer is NO then i say you dumped your so-call buddy, and wife and pretended that they never existed in your life and go on.

If your answer is YES, you still love her and even thought she had took the wrong turn in life, you should dump your friend, move to a new house, give her a chance, start over and never talk about what happened again.

I can tell that she felted the guilt inside and she won't try it again. She does love you. If she don't then she would never tell you the truth and you can live like a fool, not knowing anything and your so-called buddy would look at you while thinking "I DID YOUR WIFE!"

If you love her,give her a chance.
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Old 07-09-2007 , 11:39 PM     TrungKien07 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Hi, last time I looked, the owner of this post wrote more than a year ago, how has it been, and what happened so far?

I understand it's hard for you, and will not get any easier. So while others may have all different opinions on your situation, it's up to you to make the decision, so make it on your own time, however agonizing long it take. People say things easier standing from the outside.

Anyway, here's my long two cents:
To me, it doesn't matter if it's once or twice, cheating is cheating. Confessing doesn't patch a hole. Forgiving just open a new trend of thought "If he forgive me once, he will forgive me again". Same way that a gambler keep loosing and still hope to win again just because she won once.
Every marriage is different, and while it can be boring, sad, stinks, it will always lead to temptations, staying faithful is what makes it a marriage not a girl/boyfriend relationship. This is not a testing/dating time for kiss and make up. I'm married, I also have temptations as a man, but I love my wife and will never do anything to ruin that.
Wise people say "Tell a man to beat his kid, but never tell him to leave his wife", so it's up to you my man.

P.S: have faith girls, not all good faithful guys are extinct. There's always someone good and close by... too bad these guys are always over looked by you.

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