Time will show your parents (and YOURSELF) if he is the right one for you, BUT you have to make sure that:
1. You're NOT having physical relationship with him (Thats a big NO NO)
2. He fully understands our culture expectations in a dating relationship
3. He understands your mom/dad is important to you. You want to make them happy.
4. He understands the whole "da.o la`m con" things.
If he can prove that he would do anything to be with you, this could mean he has to wait and be tortured by your parents year after year, then he's the right one. By then, you parents will also have time to understand him and the love he has for you. Parents always want to make sure their children are taken good care of by the future spouses. So the important thing is lots and lots of patient. It's a lot of work, but if you are both truly in love with each other, it'll be all worth it. Good Luck!

This sounds like Anathema but in a nicer tone.

Hahah... people often forget there's a limit for free speech where it is acceptable or not. Also, there's a difference when you state something based on personal experience or observation than just pure speculattion or pieces of few extreme examples heard here and there. You were very low in going blah blah in your "retaliation speech" against the Vietnamse community to just prove your point. No one here really put down the "American race". You don't have to act to defend on their behalf. When people say the poster shouldn't marry to an American because American people are this and that, they're speaking out on their own experience and on what they saw happened with their friends/relatives. There are fundamental differences in the 2 cultures that sometimes cannot be reconciled. An American person will generally think and act differently in certain situations than a Vietnamese person and that could make him look "bad" in our (Vietnamse people's) eyes. When people here say this girl should not date this guy because American guys are bad, they don't mean the whole American male population are bad and they don't mean this guy is bad as a person neither. I believe what they really mean is the guy isn't as compatible to the girl and her family and it's a very safe generalization to make. I don't deny there are many sucessful interacial mariage out there and I can't say surely this relationship won't work out. There are many factors to influence its sucess or failure. To sumarize, I can say American people tends to value their personal freedom, and individual needs more than our Vietnamese people. The Vietnamese community in general put more emphasis on their extended family and higher regard to their tradition and culture. This fundamental difference can result in opposing views and decisions for each person and will very likely tear a relationship and mariage apart during a crisis or tough time.

PS. Btw, some girls call themselves a Vietnamse but they can hardly be identified as a Vietnamese. These girls would not have any problems marrying a Westerner. In fact, in another 30 years, I don't think this interacial mariage discussion will exist and if it does, the problems will just be as common as in other races. I have a distant relative. When he came here in 75, half of his girls were in late teens and the other half were little kids. Guess what... first half ended up dating and marrying Viet guys only. The other half are Vietnamse by their names only when they're with their family. When they're out in school, work or anywhere else, you can barely know they're Vietnamese (well... except you can guess by their look) They speak English exclusively, don't eat Vietnamse food as much. They dont' care what happens in Vietnamse communities. They don't socialize with Vietnamse people as much (except those early immigrant people like them) and barely know about Vietnamse culture nor history, etc. and etc. They all married White American husbands and yes, they appear to have pretty good mariages so far with kids. So it's all about perspectives.

langdzu,

Growing up near a military base, I knew many American/Vietnamese marriages. As far as I can tell, many of these people have been married for longer than most of us have been alive. So I've always puzzled at why people quickly come to the conclusion that marriages between American and Vietnamese will lead to divorce.

Yes, I've seen the divorce rate in the U.S. The problem with that statistic is that it also include us. Except for a few of us living in Canada or Australia, we are all living in the USA and we're most likely going to fall into that statistics also.

I think if someone is dating an American, then they're pretty Americanized themselves. So culture will be less of an issue with these people. There are many things that will break a marriage, culture is one of many factors.

Some Americans are into Asian culture, they eat Vietnamese food, etc. In these cases, I think the chance of success is higher. Some are into Asian Fetish, they only like Asian female (I don't like these types), these case, I think the chances of success is less.

here's my 2 cents worth....You do what you feel is right and whatever makes you happy and if it doesnt work out, then you deal w/the consequences. who to say all white men cheat or viet men dont cheat. that's bull cause all the viet men in my life cheat and the only 2 white men i know havent cheat yet

there are bad seeds in any race or color. Dont judge all but judge each individually. To decide if this is the right man for you, it's not about how good looking he is or how good he can satisfy you in bed. a marriage takes more than that. Is he a good provider, is he stable, does he have good or bad friends, what are his bad habits, can u tolerate them, what are the pros and cons...make a list. do a credit check on him...see how much debt he has make the decision base on the 2 of you and not what other might say or think. it's ur life, live it.

I went to a chinese temple sunday for lunch I saw more whites and a few blacks there and only 25% asian maybe they were there for the vegetarian food but those people looked so meek and religious and so down to earth.

Wow!!! I am not sure where did you get this list??? But it seems like Vietnam is a perfect country....If that is the case than this form shouldn't exist here in Vietfun... Because this form is for SERIOUS LOVE PROBLEM isn't it?

Just go ahead and marry the American dude and get it over with

cire,

Thank you for putting up that list. Looking at it, its scary. American have a high divorce rate. The bad news with that is that We are Living in America, most of us are American citizens (except for our Aussie, Canadian, and Belgium friends).

So we're all in deep doo doo. Its time to move to another country.


happygirl05---I think you are a Obscure, Irrational, Apathy, Shallow.
Women why dont you Cook, walking with your puppies, travel with your husband and children.

First, you are not living in Vietnam. You are living in America. use U$ dollars. Second, The website I chose is just one of the example conduct divorce rate research by selective country only. The list is not complete displays all the country in the world. It gave you some idea how critical is our country (USA) divorce rate compares it to other country. Vietnam probably one of the country did not anticipate in the pool of data for the research. Vietnam is not a perfect country for divorce rate.

"Nobody is perfect and no such thing is the perfect world”

www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsWorld.shtml

Tara

I have many married friends.
One claimed to married a dog
One claimed to married a hairy-monkey
and one claimed to married a rat.

No matter what you married, at one point or another all male creatures exhibit the same tendencies. I usually don't do what my parents tell me to....because I am living my own life. In the end, marry someone you love, because you gonna need that extra love to lift you up when you're down. Even love fades through time, that's when you need a farari to zoom you down the fast lane in Vegas. :-)

Your life your choice.

Love

Anathema you are one stupid chick that think ur so smart the more you talk the dumber you get all you want is attention which i can give ya if you let me bang the fu out of your dumb azz now shut the f up

who cares what people think after all its your life do what makes you happy dam . its going to be you that going to live with the person either bad or good decision is your make sure that think long and hard before you act on it so that later noone is to be blame life is to short to be worrying

datinh123,
I think normally we just do home invasion robberies of old Vietnamese elders who may have gold hidden under their mattress. But we don't kill for no reason. We kill for the oldest reason, greed.

I dated a white guy before, everything was perfect except he was not Vietnamese. I decided to break up with him because I want to marry to a Vietnamese man. I sometimes wish that I did not break up with him because:
1- He was my best friend.
2- He was a good listener
3- He respects me for who I am and a lot more

I was not very nice to him because at the time I just want to find a Viet guy.

Please do what you think it is good for you, and your future

You're awesome!!!! I don't care what's other people in here said, I have to agreed for everything you wrote... And by the way, I am married to a white guy for ten years now... I am happy, he treats me like a queen...

By the way, just to let you know that I am married to a white guy for ten years now... But, I guess it's time for me to get a divorce... Because according to you American people divorce 100%.... WHATEVER, you just jealous ... admit it..

Happygirl i bet you miss talking to your husband in vietnamese word like ANH or EM and i know your old mom and dad are so disppointed of you and you miss viet so much that you have to go to VIETFUN why didnt you go to whitefun

Why did the robber rob the bank? because he needed money and sees that he can get away with it.

Why did the two have sex? because they wanted to physically enjoy each other,.

Why did the girl or guy wanted to marrry a white guy? because he is either gay or she either loves him or its fake.

Why do they even bother going to a Viet forum anyway??????????????????


are they "happy"? what gives?

Thank you for putting up that list. Looking at it, its scary. American have a high divorce rate. The bad news with that is that We are Living in America, most of us are American citizens

We are all American is that correct, you are American Citizens right. Happygirl05?


No wonders our country divorce rates are so high. Because so many married couples had misconception one another. (In term of what your partner or others tried to say or said)

You still did not get my point ACROSS So sad!!!
I display a list of statistics divorce rate that shown what other country compare to our country USA.
The list did not mention anything about INTER- RACIAL marries or relationship that result or cause the high divorce rate.
It mean doesn’t matter whom you are in a MARRY white + white, white + black, white + yellow, black + black, black + yellow, yellow + yellow ……

When it come to marries is your choice TO FIND A GOOD SEED than PRODUCE A GOOD FRUITS
it doesn’t mean one race or cultures are better than the other in term of getting marry. Only god know!
The only thing we can do is to try to minimize the damage outcome to be less and less fatal (mean divorce)

Miscommunication + Misunderstanding + No Respect = high divorce rate

CONGRATULATION that YOU married to a white guy for ten years now
ALSO, Happygirl05. WHY DON’T YOU TAKE A WALK WITH YOUR DOG

The divorce rate in the USA is 50%? IT's the rate that the couples married compare to the couples getting a divorce for that given year.


It's not the rate of the couple married from the beginning til the day they dirvoce. It's actually a low rate to see the couple married and when are they going to get a divorce from that marriage in their lifetime.