You don't have to tell him anything. Just ignore his phone calls and refuse to meet him in person. He will get the message.

You may leave him, but should not expect him to marry you when he already said that he is not ready. Otherwise, both of you will be sorry later. What happens if he agrees to marry you now because of you putting pressure on him, then later you find out that you guys have never "loved" each other and will divorce, hopefully w/o any child(ren) involved?

You don't marry someone you can live with,
you marry the person who you cannot live without.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I have a serious problem with a guy who dates and have relationship with 2 girls at the same time for years. He is definitely a player. I am sorry to say that you are also a part of this problem because you failed to confront him, you chose silence and tolerance when you first noticed his emotional infidelilty.

From a guy's point of view, it is very hard to maintain a amicable friendship after breakup if 2 persons are still talking. It is best to cut off all communication and move on. The reason for this is that you both will stop digging a hole that will goes nowhere at the end. He calls you 1000 times a day (or vice versa) won't change anything.

It is important for you to get social support (from family, friends, church, temple) and avoid alcohol, drugs and fast foods. It is not easy to get through this tough time. But almost everyone has to go through it. Time will heal almost anything.

Then get busy with life, do a good job at work, and keep your eye open for a good man. I wish you peace of mind soon.

One thought that just bothering me in last couple of days...should I call his ex-gf and chit-chat? I just want to know more about him and their relationship....?? Sometimes I said "forget it"...but...sometimes, ...why not call...if I wonder???

Should I?

Hi sjsad06

Here are the list how to eliminate someone from your mind :
- to be determined
- change your phonenumber, your email to avoid any communication with him
- don't open the door when he comes
- throw aways all things related to him
- take a travel in somewhere you are always dreaming about
- learn somethings news you are really interested in ==> very important because your mind is occupied to discover other interesting things and you don't have time to think about him
- read The Art of Happiness of Dalai Lama - Howard Cutler
- go out with friends
- remember you are born to be happy and not to suffer
- spend more time for your look : when you feel pretty, you are more confident and you love yourself more , you don't let anyone hurt you
- tell him : " i did give you a lot but you didn't appreciate me, all you do is to hurt me so from now on you don't deserve my love , you definitely lost me now ! Please don't bother me any more !"
- do volunteer work , give your generosity to whom that need help instead to him
- don't trust what he says now because you've already known it's all about lies
- you don't need to hate him (he was your boyfriend) but just be indifferent and wish him all the best without you
- have no regrets, learn on your mistakes and LIFE GOES ON ....

It will cause more problems. U think his ex (or gf) will tell u the truth?

I can tell that u cant get over him, u will get hurt over n over again. Now I c y he's been treating u like that.

WOW amazing ur still with this punk i would've dumped him a long time ago . he doesn't love you obviously.he won't dump the other girl he doesn't want to marry u he doesn't want ur friends to know about the relationship he has with u it';s time to say bye bye to him let him go.

look like your feeling is nothing to him. he doesn't respect you at all. be strong and move on. time will heal your heart

ohh girl....... dump him asap, he´s playing wit ya feelings,

after this take me I´ll be treating ya right

i´am married but like i see ya got no probs wit that, right?

em yeu oi...chat me up pls

why are you complaining now? It's all your fault, you said right at the very begining of this post that you chose to be with him even though you know he has another girl. Right there you should realize he's not a good guy because good guy/girl don't have 2 bf/gf at the same time.

I don't want to say you're stupid but apprently you're not too wise. You should be smarter and dump him as soon as you found out he has another girl. I feel sorry for you that you've wasted 3 yrs of your precious time loving him but never too late to dump him. You can say he's a baster but you allowed him to become one.

Did he finish school? does he has a stable job? if you answer "yes" to both questions, And he is still not ready to married you. You should know what to do next.

After all this, if you still decided to stick around and wait for him to marry you, I can see how your married life could be in the future

So be smart and decide what kind of life you want to have: happy or miserable.


Good luck
MX

He finished school but he has no job....right now...

I know I am stupid to be with him for that long. I think I am weak. But I think when you're in love, you love by your heart and not by your brain....

Last night, he stopped by and I asked him to leave.
I think I am ready to move on.....

Congratulations, sjsad06 !
I believe someday along the way, you 'll meet someone who see greatness in you, respect you and love you with all his heart !

And keep your determination to quit him for ever !

Never persuade anyone to marry you. Marriage is mutual. YOu will regret it. To be honst with you, I back out of several gals who press too hard to get marry when the relationship has not reached that level. It feel like a trap since it happened to me before (I follow along).. In your situations, 4 yrs should be sufficient to determine you are right for him or not.

If you can not wait. I suggest u terminate the relationship.

Here is easy way to tell him that you want to end this relationship. Tell him about this this web page. Good luck and be strong.

I think u dónt have to call his ex-gf. Either she's still w/ him or not, she won't give you an honest answer; it'll be very bias when you have something to do w/ her ex-bf. I would suggest you take a break to cool your life and yourself. It is hard at first. But sometimes, u just gotta lose a battle to win the war. Be strong and overcome what you have failed to do so. Sometimes, we think that situations put us in a very hot spot, but then we can chose to be or not to be in that spot.

...love is like your shadow! chase it, it run away, run away, it will chase you!
in most of the state, living together for 6years or more is legally maried.... you were in for 4years, you got 2 more too go....when come 2008 you will be a married woman! if this is what you really want...

yeah...sorry but you asked for it...that's way too much gurl...pain , hurt...you deserved it...way too long ...obviously you have no problem with it from the very beginning...continue enduring...it's not gonna get better or anywhere...that's for shure..ciao

hey i don't think it's a problem for falling for someone who have a gf/bf... they are not married so you still have a chance.. riteeeeeeeeeee that's wat i always heard.... but i think if you are too tired and worn out from the relationship... move on.. i'm not saying u should broke up with him... just give urself some space...i'm living with my bf now.. but too tired with him and so worn out.. so i decided to move and not live together.. and i'll see wat'll happen next.. watever it is.... it'll be good.... yup good luck to you and yes do give urself some space to breathe and relax....

After reading ur story... im afraid mah longdistance bf would do tha same thang to me. DAMN.