what is your bfriend?

Black? You have to feed him rest of your life...got laid...have to pay. Start apply for food stamp...don't you?

White? Send him back to his mom then...or hooker house.

Asian? Don't worry...most of asians will find job for support his family.

OK End of discussion. I am not gold digger but again I can't help if this situation continuously keep going. I want to be myself again. Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts. I am not rich at all. I have a heavy debt too. I don't mind he uses my credit card and I don't mind to give my half of my money but I can't stand of this hard life anymore. I did all the best as a gf. I'm not his wife as you know. I just did the best that I could. I am so tired of it I feel sad too but again I can't go further. Anyone hates me or not I'm sorry if you don't like me but again I fulfill my best obligation...I dda~ tro`n nha^n nghi~a trong mo^.t nam qua roi. I have to pay for my big debt and start my life over. OK You guys take care.

He is viet. I hope he can find a job soon and until that day I still don't ask for the loan he borrows from me. I can give it to him. Now I'm so done as a gf. Best regards,

If I were your bf, I would go out and find a job. A year without a job is somewhat difficult to get by, especially if he's used your money. He realizes that you don't earn much and still go to school. He should have been more considerate and gone out to look for something to work.
I think you are not a bad person; otherwise, you would have not shared him half of your salary over the past year. you are frustrated that he has not made any moves to find a job; you cannot let this situation go on forever.
A lot of people have an impression of you as a bad person because of the way you explained in your post. Every one here would assume that you only want a successful bf and dump him once he's down.
Personally your bf is not at fault for getting fired, but he is at fault for not trying to look for a job, I only assume so based on your post. I don't know if you have talked with him about how you feel about him or the situation you're in. You should tell him that you are not comfortable with supporting him for too long since you are still in school and barely get by with limited salary. Tell him that he needs to get up and help you too because you are falling apart of the situation. If he does not want to do anything, then you should decide something. If he tries to look for a job, but still struggles to get one,you should motivate him than give up on him and this relationship.
Hence, the best thing for you now is that you should have a serious talk with him about the situation and about how you feel, if you haven't done so. You feel that he is the problem, then he is the solution also. It is easy to give up on things, but life would be more interesting if you and your bf work things out. Remember all relationships have problems, but if both of you can solve them, your relationship is going to be great; however, it's easy said than done. It takes effort and time and sometimes pride to do so. Another perspective is that sometimes one must lose pride to have true love or a happy relationship. If you feel that this relationship is what you look for, then you work at it. If it is not, then no. However, if you should change your feelings toward this relationship because of others are judging you, the you should reconsider. You know what best for you and relationship, not others, because you walk your path and are responsible for it, not them.
ANyhow, I wish both of you find the courage to pass this test in this relationship and move on either together or separately, as long as both of you agree. Take care

Darien

sis....money is importance but don'tbreak up over money problem..think about the past ,what he has done for u...why don't u sitdown and talk to him abt it,looking for another job...he maybe has something difficult at the moment,i think u still love him thats why u come here and ask us what should or should not otherwise u would have break up with him ages ago without any thinking...So i think have a talk about it with him,then u both can deal with the problem...don't leave him if u still have feeling for him.

U're not only money brain, u're also very impolite, 6 months or a yr what difference does it makes, if you love ur bf, then talk to him and tell him ur feeling, instead of keep calling him a loser, it's not easy to look for a job this day, especial when a person got fired from the previous job.
Love sumtime has to sacrify, and if u don't know that, then u really don't know what love really is.

If he love you enough....go fishing he will go. Why not asking him to get a job and keep a job just for you.

Good points, but rape him and leave, so the find better gf. That how satttle the score

I think you should talk to him first. Tell him how you feel about the situation. Tell him you need help with the finances....that you can't do it alone. It sucks to lose a job, but if he's not out there looking, people are not going to come to him and offer jobs. When a person doesn't have a job, his or her job is to look for one. Get up every morning. Get dress and go to work looking for a job. Good luck!

SadLady111,

i bet you define LOVE in a very different perspective. I think everyone should know what kind of LOVE is absoluted truth before engage in a relationship; otherwise, it is just a game.......looks like your game is almost over. What is love anyway?

Yes....................

lay su'ng ba'n chet ha'n cho roai

Thank you for best advices I see from co_mu, darien, Nuavantrang, email, ywo808, dulang. I hope I can follow your advices. Love you all.


For the rest: I know you guys will I'm cold hearted. I'm so tired of this. I don't want to stuck my feet in this matter anymore ok. Say what you want. I don't care anymore. I finish my gf's obligation ok. That is enough. I did all my best. Time for me to support my family instead of him. It is not always about money ok. It is self esteem. I don't want people gossip behind my back nuo^i trai or whatever. I don't want to stuck in this messy love. That's it.

Hi girl friend,
I have no faith in him right now. I don't know why I have such feelings. I'm going to break up with him soon. I don't want to think and handle this circumstance anymore. I'm always strong. Just one thing keep me wondering about like we used to go fishing together. I know this relationship is not going to work. I'm thinking like I will give him all my money I have now before breaking up. Maybe that may help him actively look for a new job; so I don't own him anything or the way he used to spend on me (meals/holiday gifts/clothes).

SadLady -- It was nice of you to still stick with him through his difficult time. However, it's very WRONG of your BF to depends on you. This shows you what kind of person he is. If he can't land a good paying job, he still has arms and legs to flip burgers for a living.

It's not about the money issue anymore -- if it is -- it should only have lasted for a few months while he's looking for a job. But if it's been a year like that then you really need to reconsider him.

Even I'm a girl, I cannot sit at home for a month and ask my BF for money, unless I need it for an emergency.

If you are being indecisive, then sit down and have a talk with him. Ask him directly why he doesn't want to go look for job ? How is he planning to support himself ? etc.. In the meantime, you shouldn't offer to give them anymore of your money, seems like he's very comfortable taking your money now -- and he's losing his self-respect and pride :(

Maybe he hasn't find his ideal job yet but heck, you've gotta accept what's available out there to survive then continue searching for your ideal job.

He's already used to stay home and using your money, if you give him all your money now, you're just going to make him lazier, continue sitting on his a$$ until he runs out of money.

If you don't think you can go on further with him, then either help him change by being harsh at him, or break it off.

By the way, don't need to feel bad about what he spent on gifts, meals, for you -- that's part of the relationship -- and you've done your part of repaying him this past year. The reason I say this is because if your intentions back then wasn't his money, then you don't need to feel bad. All the things he spent on you was his choice; just like supporting him this past year was your choice.

Just dump the bum and get on with your life.

TexasMan -- it's not about her BF doesn't have a job that she's thinking about leaving him -- it's the fact that her BF doesn't seem to want to look for a job -- What kinda man let his GF support him for more than a year and borrow GF's money ? Unless he's ill or disabled .. or has some criminal restrictions that he cannot find a job.

Temporary is a few months -- a whole year is not temporary.

He's at the level of comfortably stay home & accepts his GF money.

http://community.vietfun.com/showthread.php?t=367519&page=2

refer back to this post for my comment. I'm speechless that so many girls are so worthless.

Tulip: You are right it is not about money. It is all about self esteem. I feel I'm down with this guy. Like not me before. Before I made money and spent on these I love. After knowing him, a shirt $4.99 sometime I don't dare to buy because ran out of money. They will never know my feelings but it is ok.

Sobe,

I don't want a loser bf. Don't need to depend money. Share 50/50 is fine. Or at least 40/60. Nowadays girls don't need guys' money ok. Love needs secured feelings. I don't feel comfortable then there is no love. Bf is not a husband yet. Is not a father too. I don't want anyone else call me "nuoi trai" or bad rumors. One year supporting him is enough. One year is not temporary. I bet all of you have not gone through these circumstances. You guys pay for your gf a meal and complain badly. I feed everything hell no it is so tired and I don't want to go through ok. Not sure who are worthless. If he is my husband and in the situation he is disabled then I will not leave him.

Guys these day some are gold diggers.

SadLady - it's not about your Self-Esteem dear I meant your BF's self-respect. He's giving you unsecured feelings of depending on you. It's either you make him get off his lazy butt and start looking for a job .. or you can say goodbye to him and find yourself someone else.

I disagree with some people saying it's not about the money, it's about the love. I'm sorry but what your BF doing is not LOVING you .. He's Depending & Using you.. Helping one another through tough time is a good thing to do .. but creating chances for him to depend on you is a Big NO NO ..