HTF.
FYI! I am NOT a girl.... My advice to you as a guy's perspective.

Hatred is NOT a healthy way of solving a problem.

I see alot of angers that are still in you. Please let go.

LM: Oh sorry, mistaken you as a girl...hehehe!

I know that hatred is not a healthy way of life, I had learn that since keeping anger feeling towards my ex. I neevr able to open my mouth talk to him like a friend, just feels like screaming my head off at him.

But since I post this topic of mine and seek some very good advices from others, I did had deep thinking about my ex and my family. Think of the may outcome of the situation arise of me and my ex meeting up. And be truthfully to myself why I wanted to meet up with him.

Anyway I am not angry with him anymore, I have finally forgive what he did to me. I guess things happened for a good reason. I guess we was never meant to be! Let it be!

This message is for him:

"I FORGIVE YOU MY EX, ONCE WAS MY BIG TEDDY BEAR!"

Even if he can't read this, but at least I have said it's out loud.

Good for you it's his loss. Since you already has this resolved, I guess my 2 cents won't be necessary.

kristi-m: Hi there, every single advice counts. If you have good one too, share it!

I think that the reason you need closure from this relationship after 7 years because the break up was a shock to your ego. You mentioned that you were good to him and the relationship went well ... but all of a sudden, he left you for someone who is not even up to your standard. Like you said, she was just average. It is best to get thing resolve instead of letting follow you around for such a long time.... But since it is such a long time. I think it would be better to let go. Like other members here had adviced you. Somethings are better left alone.
If you were to go and talk to him and he is nice about it... may be you can get your closure. But what if he turned out to be a jerk and start telling people that you are still in love with him... and so on.
Anyways, this is just my guess. I hope nothing offended you

kristi-m:hehehehehe...you are funny about my ego. Well don't we all have it? Well the main point was that I was anger that he didn't have the guts to tell me the truth when he broken up with me. I even asked him that is there number 3 in our relstionship and he said "no". I mean how can you believe after 2 weeks he was away and came ack and said he doesn't feels the same like before, while that 2 weeks ago we had heart to heart conversationa and he cried. I think he shock ed me because he did show that he loved me before he left me. And that make me too confused all these years (not my ego) I never see his wife till 7 years later face to face. So I have never really know what she look like, so how can it's be my ego all those time.

I know he will be nice about it, we both treats each other nice, it's wasn't a bad relationship at all with him. Maybe it's too nice and sudden break up, kinda shock me.

But I am very happy that I post this topic and few very good advice did help me to over come my past. Especially Dulang, Dulang has help me alots, so it's nice to know there are some kind people out there, that willing to help other when they are in a mess.

I was so bo^'i do^'i once before post this topic, but after Dulang gave me some advice, I feels so much clearer. And appreciated more what I have in present and thinking back now I feels that my past has been appear in my head was such a silly things of me. I wish I knew how to forgive him sooner and get it out of my head.

Now I can forgive him without meeting up with him. I feels so much free now. Thank DL! and others too.

It s been 3 years since the day he left me in silence and I still don t kno why!

like Hardtoforget, HM n TPY, I try to meet him up or just see him from a distance but I don t hav any clue bout him!

I was not as lucky as u guys cuz we kno each other from the internet and we couldn t meet each other just for once!!! Cuz he lives in Houston and I lived in Saigon. I never thought that I could feel like this before. I can t forget him! It s many years pass by but every single word of his emails still in my mind. Since the day he left me without any reason I thought that i would go to Houston and look for him. And recently I did it, too. I did try many things that he told me bout Houston and everything overthere remind me bout him, everything. I went to Houston wif a hope to find him but the fact that I didn t kno anything bout him accept his name (Tri Le Van) and his photos that he sent to me on my birthday and all the things he told me. I keep those wif me all the time.

I kno it seems like crazy but I can t help!!! Sometimes I wanna give up but sometimes I hav a strong feeling for him! I think of him all the time and keep praying for a chance to meet him.

Some people adviced me to give up and some told me keep finding him.

In fact, I hav many goals and plans in my life and I always try my best to achieve but I can t forget everythings bout him. Sometimes i think I should burn all of his pictures and his greeting card but I kno it s useless cuz his image always in my head. I try to search for someone who live in houston and around his age (1978) wif a hope to see him. Even though everything s hopeless but i can t stop myself from doing so.

What should i do!?? I kno I should let him go but all the memories in my head I don t kno how can I clean it up and enjoy life wif other people??

first of all ... he broke up w u when he met someone else. then y do u still miss him. its not u that broke up w him...its him. n besides ..now he's married and u r married too. i dont see any point in missing him or wanting to talk to him for whatever reason that is.

Got over him for good! Thanks all the genuine feedbacks, Life goes on...He is a real B_ _ _ _ _ _! At the end of the day, my future is with my husband and my baby. I have found my happiness. Life could be confuse, but through others genuine feedback here has help me to move on and see what I have infront of my face, rather than looking back of my past with no meaningless.

this is crazy. 7 years and still can't forget your ex? how long were you dating? your husband cannot replace the memories with your ex? i feel sorry for the dude then, married to someone who can't seem to forget someone who ditched her.

Growwww uppppp :p :p :p

I DO THIS SHIET ALL THE TIME...once i break up..i just go partying til the break of dawn..ain't got no time to waste on melancholic situations....

email/A_Mytho/BadANSWERS: In any relationships hard to predict why ppls do or reacted certain way. But you guys will never understand, unless you guys are in my shoes.

Oh by the way, did you guys read all my replies??? I guess not!

Hi All,

Ne cu~ng nhu* ma^'y chi. va^.y ddo' ...nhu*ng Na dda~ bie^'t ca'ch la`m sao que^n ddu*o*.c X cu?a Na ...Na ddi xa tha^.t xa nhu*~ng no*'i co' ky~ nie^.m ...nhu*~ng no*i co' bo'ng cu?a hai ddu*'a...Na la`m tha^.t la` nhie^`u vie^.c ...la`m cho dde^'n khi na`o me^.t qu'a va` la(ng ra ngu? tho^i chu*' kho^ng dde^~ mi`nh co' tho*`i gian nghi~ ngo*i hay suy nghi~ ...Ne^'u kho^ng, thi` Na ddi ta^.p the^~ thao, cho*i racquet ball, tennis, swimming...etc...ne^'u nhu* co' nhu*~ng nga`y kho^ng co' ddu? vie^.c la`m ...kho^ng thi` clean nha` tu*` tre^n dde^'n du*o*'i ...khi na`o me^.t ro^`i thi` ngu? , te' va`o gu*o*`ng va` ngu? nhu* che^'t ...ddo' la` nhu*~ng ca'ch Na la`m dde^~ que^n ngu*o*`i x 8 na(m cu?a Na ...gio*` thi` dda~ que^n, ca? te^n cu~ng kho^ng nho*' ...:-)) Hy vo.ng help ddu*o*.c ma^'y chi.

"Tinh chi dep khi con dzang dzo".

Chi hay keep nhung good memories de sau nay ve gia luc nham mat suoi tay minh hay nghi lai nhung mong mo thiet dep hoi tuoi tre. Gep lai mot album o trong tim. Good hay bad cung la past roi. Its time to move on!

"Forget and Forgive"

Vina: Wow 8 na)m roi a, well i guess why I was still searching for clousure from my x is because b4 he broken up with me, he kinda gave me mix message by crying in front of me, I guess I have never really understand what that cried was all about. I guess I was searching that those tears that he has rolled down infront of me. Now there is few things has happened and heard about him and I have now not really think of him at all, but if there is very faded memories. It's weird how it's came back so clear nut now are faded.

aiyeutoi: Yep you are right to bury the past, but when it's come to the actual love, it's hard to quen. No'i thi` very easy. Nhu*ng khi mi`nh hie^?u ra)`ng ng` x cu?a mi`nh ko co`n care to help mi`nh get closure thi` mi`nh tu*. bie^'t ca'i message ma` he cho. So at least then I realised that I have been out with a Bxxxxxx! Then I can move on.

hey my ex cried to me when she dumped me too. like wtf? that's what tripped me over. she made me feel like it was MY fault that she left me. that sense of guilt that i didn't treat her well. but then fu'ck it. now we are co-workers. you don't have to forget your ex if you can't. if you could see him as a friend, you should be fine. in fact now that you're married, you shouldn't think of him as anything more than a friend.

email: well you situation was different though, mine was like the cried show la` " I feels for you, but I am force to leave you", but all I need was for him to say what was wrong and why he have to chose this way and then surely I can let him go, if that is what he want. But he was too selfish to let me know what was going on, so that I won't need to think of him all these years and wondering why??? Couldn't get the closure was very hard. I do not feels for him like in the past, just want to hear that. But like I said I did get few things sorted and now he isn't on my mind like before. Very faded!

Seem like you do not really love your x, wow you guys now work together? How is that feels?

she cried to me because of that "i had to leave you and i don't want to" kind of stuff. that's what made me feel guilty. i felt like damn, if i had paid more attention to her feelings and stuff, she wouldn't have left me. i promised her i'd do anything for her to come back, but nope, she was gone for good. didn't love her? she apologized to me so many times. now that she's engaged, i know i can never get her back so i'm moving on. yeah now we work together. stupid fate. it was awkward as hell the first day we saw each other. now i try to not talk to her much to avoid any old feelings. just imagine nothing ever happened, which is very hard. but then i thought, "if i keep acting like i want her back, that would make it miserable on her. and if i really do care for her, i should be happy to see her happy." basically, it's hard to swallow. i'm quitting this job in 2 weeks anyways.

good to hear you're losing your feelings for your ex.

HTF , like you said "things happened for GOOD reason" maybe it's good for you or maybe it's good for him also
someone here replied it was his lost but how come u know that for sure wat if it's his gain