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Sunrise_05
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Old 09-13-2010 , 10:17 PM     Sunrise_05 est dconnect  search   Quote  
We have been together for over ten years and went through up and down a lot. Both of us went to college but struggling with finding a job. I decided to do nails. on the other hand,he going to grad medical school. I am happy for him . He proposed to me before he go away for school and told me to wait for him 4 more years. I have been patiently waiting for him all these years but I somehow doubt about our relationship now. I am afraid I will lose him. There are over a hundred grad students in his class and nothing can guarantee that he will be faithful to me. I know I should trust him but it is so hard. Just tonight he told me that he has created a facebook account for his class. He showed it to me and I was disappointed. Many of his classmate would have their avatar (profile) with their family, spouse, girlfriend picture taken with them and have their status under "in a relationship" married" single" but he ...only had a picture of the ocean and hided his status. I am so sad..I don't want to talk to him anymore..He knew that I was not happy but he did not care and hung up on me. I know that he is a private person. I don't expected him to post his picture with me but at least he should put his status "engaged". Guys...please tell me..am I asking too much? Is it too much for you to do something like that for your "fiance" after she is suffering with you over ten years. I could chose a better path...but I love him..my friends and my sisters said that they will torture him if he left me for I have been so nice him all these time...btw he is a nice and charming guy so girls are easily attracted to him....Should I let him go so I won't be hurt later or should I hold on to him? I don't know what to do anymore...hic..hic
Cam on Anh Chi va may ban doc post cua sunrise…Sunrise dang buon boi vi o xa him qua..cung muon move in with him nhung chua dam cuoi hon nua khong muon he bi nhieu distraction
Littlefox
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Số Điểm: 326
Old 09-13-2010 , 10:33 PM     Littlefox est dconnect  search   Quote  
Are you supporting him financially through med school? Just curious...

Anyways, if it's only because of the facebook thing then you should not be sad or mad at him . He just created an account and if he is a private person, it is normal that he does not show his status. You should be concern if he put single, but that is not the case. Plus, he showed you the page so it was not like he was hiding things from you. With privacy concerns today, most people put minimal things on their profile.
huynhv09
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Số Điểm: 331
Old 09-13-2010 , 10:40 PM     huynhv09 est dconnect  search   Quote  
Your relationship really has a bad sign, so please be prepared! Don't be sad, then focus on some important things in life that you need to do.
Frankenstein
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Join Date: Sep 2010
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Old 09-14-2010 , 04:16 AM     Frankenstein est dconnect  search   Quote  
Sunrise, are you serious about waiting for him for 4 more years? What is it that he can guarantee you that by that time he'll marry you like how he proposed to you? Do you know how long is 4 years? You know what the possibility might be or could happen within those time frame? I can tell you now that he's a liar. You are not there with him each and everyday of your life to see or know what he is actually doing.

Nothing is guaranteed for sure of the outcome of your distant relationship but proposing to you and taking off for 4 whole long years and asking you to wait is totally nonsense. That right there doesn't make any sense at all. I do strongly urge you to reconsider your relationship and not wait for him because base on what you stated in your original post. Nothing seems to be positive or for sure. I mean it's very obvious and clear that this guy has no intention of waiting for you.

I wouldn't leave the one that I love and proposed to hanging like that just to go to med school. If I was in his shoe I would take my love along with me because two distant couple apart there's a good chance that e feeling will eventually change when one gets to close with another friend or classmate. Its very rare for relationship like yours to work out right unless the two of you are together or goi to school together but asking you to wait for 4 more years is a very clear sign of a disaster.

I'm not asking you to consider my advice or take my suggestion. I'm only asking you to think about what you're doing whether what you're doing is right or wrong. Does he see you important as much as what he is dong or not. Avoid a calamity if you can because once it happen then there's no turning back around. Is it worth waiting for 4 years? Is there any guarantee that this will turn out right? I can tell you this though at I don't see anything bright about this at all but that's totally up to you to decide for yourself. Nobody in here can say or do anything that will make this all better for you only you can do what it takes to make all of is go the way how it suppose to go your way. Be happy!
XươngGà
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Old 09-14-2010 , 07:45 AM     XươngGà est dconnect  search   Quote  
Không! Hiện giờ chưa có lý do chính đáng gì để buồn. Đợi chừng nào đọc được flirty comments trên facebook wall của bạn trai thì buồn cũng chưa muộn.

Posting pictures of your significant other and declaring a "in-a- relationship status" may be common practice on facebook, but it does not guarantee a person's faithfulness.

Proposing to you before he went off to school is considerate, not nonsense. The act may be foolish, but nevertheless, considerate. Time and distance will put a huge strain on any relationship. But at least, for now, you are sure that he had the intention of marrying you.

Don't move in with him. Cry and whine alone, at your own place. You will appear more attractive that way. Good luck.
TieuLi
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Số Điểm: 1012
Old 09-14-2010 , 08:25 AM     TieuLi est dconnect  search   Quote  
Sunrise_05: ...nothing is guaranteed in life ...so of course, don't be surprise if he comes home one day and tell you he'd found someone else ...but if he is all that you claimed him to be, then don't doubt him ..be supportive ...be confidence, be the woman that he's LUCKY to have !!! i think it's a bit too dramatic and silly to be sad over facebook's relationship status and picture...these are the things that may ruin a relationship ...i know this is a bit cliché but if you truly love him and knows that he's the one...then love him with all your heart/mind...if your love is later not returned then at least you did your part ...good luck!!
six.toes
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Join Date: May 2007
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Old 09-14-2010 , 08:31 AM     six.toes est dconnect  search   Quote  
nêú fải nên buồn về cái vụ Facebook thì khg nên, mình đàn bà, thích bọc bạch, yeu ai, thì tỏ ra cho nguo đó, nhưng đàn ông khg có để ý và nhieu luc' khg muón share nưã thi khác. Me and my honey both have FB accounts, we share friends. he visits my pages more often than i do to his.. mine is opposite of his. i inserted my status, our pics.. he doesn't... it's his nature... vì cái chuyen rất la bé tí mà giận hờn , Sunrise sẽ lam` cho him chán ngán, ngợp thở... và dzần dzần khg muốn share những viẹc nên share vì cứ sợ lam` tổn thuơng Sunrise.... going thru school is stressful, let alone medical school, when he calls you, dont further stress him out with unneeded dramas. With that being said, i think it's normal for you to feel insecure when 1) u love him, and 2) he himself is a good catch and 3) ú r miles apart. 4yrs is a long time to wait, i dont think long distance is realistic especially when he has pretty successful women around. love needs nuture and physical bonding. ppl said "Xa mặt cách lòng" mà...he has needs and so are you...if u really wanna continue w/ this rlship, if i were, i would move closer to him, that way, yoúll get to see each other at least once/few times a week... it's more assuring when hés around. while waiting for him, try to pursuit other career/looking for the job u majored in while doing nails...should anything happens, u have a plan B.

besides the distance, i think the big part thats troubling u is ur insecuritỵ ...and hopefully when u 2 live closer, that will resolvẹ

Last edited by six.toes; 09-14-2010 at 08:39 AM..
TamDonCo
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Old 09-14-2010 , 08:34 AM     TamDonCo est dconnect  search   Quote  
sao có nhiều cô quan trọng "hình thức" quá, tám tui thấy nhiều bà complain ông chồng hỏng chịu đeo nhẫn, why ?

nếu ông muốn kím gái khác thì dù có đeo hay không ông cũng có cách kím gái mà thôi !!!!
TieuLi
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Số Điểm: 1012
Old 09-14-2010 , 08:41 AM     TieuLi est dconnect  search   Quote  
tam:..tại đàn bà xí xọn mà ..hahaha talking about ring ..i took mine off ..mấy tuần rồi ko đeo ..chẳng biết nó nằm ở đâu nữa !
TamDonCo
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Số Điểm: 32277
Old 09-14-2010 , 08:43 AM     TamDonCo est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=TieuLi;7937882]tam:..tại đàn bà xí xọn mà ..hahaha talking about ring ..i took mine off ..mấy tuần rồi ko đeo ..chẳng biết nó nằm ở đâu nữa ![/QUOTE]

Tám cũng hỏng thích đeo đồ như đồng hồ, dây chuyền, etc. thấy mệt quá, vuớng bận tùm lum
TieuLi
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Số Điểm: 1012
Old 09-14-2010 , 08:46 AM     TieuLi est dconnect  search   Quote  
tam:..ừ ..same here ..bớt li có nhiều khi nỗi cơn thì thích đeo tùm lum ..vài tuần sau ko đeo gì nữa hết ...hôm qua li kể chuyện mà bị mod deleted post ..tức ghê !
TamDonCo
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Số Điểm: 32277
Old 09-14-2010 , 08:50 AM     TamDonCo est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=TieuLi;7937901]tam:..ừ ..same here ..bớt li có nhiều khi nỗi cơn thì thích đeo tùm lum ..vài tuần sau ko đeo gì nữa hết ...hôm qua li kể chuyện mà bị mod deleted post ..tức ghê ![/QUOTE]

thật ra cái vụ đeo đồ nầy một phần là do mấy cô/bà hay điệu nhưng ở VN phần đông là "show off" nhiều hơn, hồi tám về VN thấy bà chị họ đeo 7 chiếc vòng gì đó, lẻng kẻng tùm lum, thấy mà mệt dùm cho bả, tám hỏi đeo chi mà dữ vậy, hỏng mệt sao ? em biết bả trả lời sao hôn ??

"Tao làm chủ hụi mà hỏng đeo gì hết, ai dám vô hụi " :D :D :D

mod dạo nầy quỡn lắm, lú ra là trảm liền
mnmER
Gold Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Số Điểm: 3096
Old 09-14-2010 , 09:30 AM     mnmER est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=Sunrise_05;7937408]We have been together for over ten years and went through up and down a lot. Both of us went to college but struggling with finding a job. I decided to do nails. on the other hand,he going to grad medical school. I am happy for him . He proposed to me before he go away for school and told me to wait for him 4 more years. I have been patiently waiting for him all these years but I somehow doubt about our relationship now. I am afraid I will lose him. There are over a hundred grad students in his class and nothing can guarantee that he will be faithful to me. I know I should trust him but it is so hard. Just tonight he told me that he has created a facebook account for his class. He showed it to me and I was disappointed. Many of his classmate would have their avatar (profile) with their family, spouse, girlfriend picture taken with them and have their status under "in a relationship" married" single" but he ...only had a picture of the ocean and hided his status. I am so sad..I don't want to talk to him anymore..He knew that I was not happy but he did not care and hung up on me. I know that he is a private person. I don't expected him to post his picture with me but at least he should put his status "engaged". Guys...please tell me..am I asking too much? Is it too much for you to do something like that for your "fiance" after she is suffering with you over ten years. I could chose a better path...but I love him..my friends and my sisters said that they will torture him if he left me for I have been so nice him all these time...btw he is a nice and charming guy so girls are easily attracted to him....Should I let him go so I won't be hurt later or should I hold on to him? I don't know what to do anymore...hic..hic
Cam on Anh Chi va may ban doc post cua sunrise…Sunrise dang buon boi vi o xa him qua..cung muon move in with him nhung chua dam cuoi hon nua khong muon he bi nhieu distraction[/QUOTE]

sorry about your situation, probably a hardest decision you ever make. For your case, leaving him isn't a right situation at this point since there is still hope, both of you still love each other so much, and like you said, he's a nice guy and charming, and you wouldn't want to end a relationship without trying? but the only thing that against you is the distance. I agree with Six toes, move closer to him, (doesn't necessarily mean you have to live with him in a house), you can rent out an apartment. By doing this, you can be with him physically and emotionally, so your relationship won't have to go to a death end. The reason you have doubt and become sad about Facebook stuffs because you haven't been able to see him constantly and you started developing doubts his love for you and losing your trust on him, which is normal for a long distance relationship. At the same time, be prepared for the worse situation because you never know who he has been going out with since you're not closed to see him.
I think Facebook is just a social network, and its purpose to have fun and make friends, so don't take Facebook stuffs too serious regardless of what he put up there, reality is what you should be more concerned of.

Good luck
tanman
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Số Điểm: 900
Old 09-14-2010 , 09:35 AM     tanman est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=Sunrise_05;7937408]We have been together for over ten years and went through up and down a lot. Both of us went to college but struggling with finding a job. I decided to do nails. on the other hand,he going to grad medical school. I am happy for him . He proposed to me before he go away for school and told me to wait for him 4 more years. I have been patiently waiting for him all these years but I somehow doubt about our relationship now. I am afraid I will lose him. There are over a hundred grad students in his class and nothing can guarantee that he will be faithful to me. I know I should trust him but it is so hard. Just tonight he told me that he has created a facebook account for his class. He showed it to me and I was disappointed. Many of his classmate would have their avatar (profile) with their family, spouse, girlfriend picture taken with them and have their status under "in a relationship" married" single" but he ...only had a picture of the ocean and hided his status. I am so sad..I don't want to talk to him anymore..He knew that I was not happy but he did not care and hung up on me. I know that he is a private person. I don't expected him to post his picture with me but at least he should put his status "engaged". Guys...please tell me..am I asking too much? Is it too much for you to do something like that for your "fiance" after she is suffering with you over ten years. I could chose a better path...but I love him..my friends and my sisters said that they will torture him if he left me for I have been so nice him all these time...btw he is a nice and charming guy so girls are easily attracted to him....Should I let him go so I won't be hurt later or should I hold on to him? I don't know what to do anymore...hic..hic
Cam on Anh Chi va may ban doc post cua sunrise…Sunrise dang buon boi vi o xa him qua..cung muon move in with him nhung chua dam cuoi hon nua khong muon he bi nhieu distraction[/QUOTE]

you go crazy because of his facebook status, and he's mad at your out of control emotion.

It's not too much of you to ask him to put the status on facebook, but it's how to ask to not trigger his button. And just because of this problem, you've already gone this far to think of breaking up. Are you gone too far and he had fed up too much by your emotion?

Some people can put up with each other 2 years, 5 years, 7 years. The more years come, the more problems add up to it, but you've reached up to 10 years and still be together. Is that something you should be proud of your relationship.

Perhaps you need to change your emotion and behavior a bit to make your relationship better and to get what you want from him eaiser than it is now.
đạibàng
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Số Điểm: 784
Old 09-14-2010 , 10:05 AM     đạibàng est dconnect  search   Quote  
Many jealous Vietnamese women throw acid in the face of the other woman. Why don't you do the same? Throw acid on his facebook page.
cochunho
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Số Điểm: 1410
Old 09-14-2010 , 11:18 AM     cochunho est dconnect  search   Quote  
I am worried for you too since most guys are attractive to intelligent girls around him... and remember no female is ugly... got me????I think you now should consider grad school as well... just an opinion...
cochunho
Loyal Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Số Điểm: 1410
Old 09-14-2010 , 11:20 AM     cochunho est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=TamDonCo;7937854]sao có nhiều cô quan trọng "hình thức" quá, tám tui thấy nhiều bà complain ông chồng hỏng chịu đeo nhẫn, why ?

nếu ông muốn kím gái khác thì dù có đeo hay không ông cũng có cách kím gái mà thôi !!!![/QUOTE]

Tam hong đeo nhan ha??? coi chung cochunho quơ lộn thì mệt... :)
TamDonCo
Royal Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Số Điểm: 32277
Old 09-14-2010 , 11:22 AM     TamDonCo est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=cochunho;7938698]Tam hong đeo nhan ha??? coi chung cochunho quơ lộn thì mệt... :)[/QUOTE]

CCN quơ lộn thì quơ lại, hỏng có gì mệt hết, sợ CCN hỏng dám quơ :D :D :D :D
cochunho
Loyal Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Số Điểm: 1410
Old 09-14-2010 , 11:25 AM     cochunho est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=TamDonCo;7938713]CCN quơ lộn thì quơ lại, hỏng có gì mệt hết, sợ CCN hỏng dám quơ :D :D :D :D[/QUOTE]

ý lộn quơ trúng.... how is life lately ha Tam?/?
TamDonCo
Royal Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Số Điểm: 32277
Old 09-14-2010 , 11:27 AM     TamDonCo est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=cochunho;7938731]ý lộn quơ trúng.... how is life lately ha Tam?/?[/QUOTE]

very good, cơm ngày 2 bữa, cày đều đều :) Thanks CCN
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