In law always has bad stories especially mother in law.

How long should i keep my son from not seeing them? How long should i keep my husband from not seeing them? how am i going to deal with them?

I have lots of problem from them but it keeps accumulate and i couldnt forgive them everytime i think of it or maybe one day i will but it will be a long long time.

His mother said she wont accept me as daughter in law since i walk away and didnt to listen to her advice. Well i do have a choice, pretend to listen, walk away or argue back.

Kick me out of her house - we come there for a visit for his dad bday meaning we wont see each other from now on.

Gold digger - she never give me or my son anything new. Most of things she gives is from second or third hand from her previous grandkids or second hand stores even she can afford to buy a new one, my husband didnt give me anything and i dont know where the idea come from.

Low education - i have my college, she expect more than a bachelor.

And the worst thing, she try to slap me in the face since i told her it is the same way she treat the other girl who now marry her other son. By the way, she wont accept him as a son since he moves to japan to marry that girl after cancel the wedding in Canada without invited any of his family to attend - they ask her to sign an unfair prenupt. My husband use their copy to to ask me to sign even i told my husband it is not signable but he still didnt listen. I know i wont able to convince him so i let the lawyer do the work and she told him to get the mediator. He didnt wants to spend more money on the lawyer and he know it is not signable. So version i sign is where any money before marriage will belong to that person, inherritage will belong to that person. And yet, she said i'm a gold digger.

By the way, everyone in the town was shock when they hear i marry my husband since she has a reputation and no one want to marry him because of her - dictator. Everything has to go her way.

She keeps mention all the girls my husband date and other people introduce.

She makes a scenery while my mom come to help me during my first month after give birth. The reason, i told her i will take my mom to the airport while she can stay at home watching my son and she wants my mom take the bus and the train to the airport with her to save gas.

She told my husband i'm faking where I was alone on the island with no friends or family while my husband and them go back to do the moving. I keep bleeding during the first couple week. I end up went to the doctor while i was by myself on the island with no friend or family and the doctor said i had a miscarriage. My family was worry and told my husband to come back to check on me or my dad will fly over. End up my husband fly back and we went to the hospital in the mainland and after the ultrasound, they find the heart beat. I think at the time, if my husband choose not to go back, i will go back to my hometown and wont see him again. By the way, it end up i'm in hospital and bed rest since the 27 weeks due to water broken and end up give birth early 2 months.

She told me, because of me, she didnt give my husband anything and yet she pretend to love my son.

She upset because i want to spend time on vacation with my family.

I know she told many bad stories behind my back but i pretend so the family can be in harmonize.

Seriously, if i know this, i rather stay single. I want to move back to my hometown manytime since i able to find a good job and in affordable standard of living. Also, i have family and friends who wont let me feel lonely. I didnt do it since my husband is a nice man - sometime he is a jerk when he listen to her and it is also for my son sake.

way back in the days, when dinosaurs roam the earth, marriage was about love and commitment. you meet someone or thing that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you'd give anything to protect it.

now, with the invention of human, lawyers and politics. the simple act of dedication is a legal issue. a lot of you are screwing other people over and you've turned it into an art, same goes for saving money. every penny is observed and analyze for optimum value before investing it into your pocket, where it will stay until the end of time, heaven forbid there should come a time where it will part from you.

why do people complicate marriage? wtf is wrong with you a$$holes? was there a reason why you were put on an island alone during pregnancy? i mean, were you infected with some bad azz disease where they need you isolated and quarantine on a deserted island alone? you should be at home in bed with your husband as your slave until you give birth at which time he should become your btch. if he doesnt come home with that money, commence the btch slapping. thats how a simple marriage work.

Clarification:

Island - it is a town where we need to take 45 min ferry and it only goes from 6 am to 9 pm. If you misses a ferry, it takes 2 hours for the next one

I'm alone there because my husband and in law need to do the moving during my pregnant and it is 10 hours driving from the old place to the new place.

Yeap...i wishes it can be simple but now a day everyone makes it complicate and especially the in law. Everyone become greedy.

I assume Deathesy02 still single. I feel depress and yet you make it more depressing.

[QUOTE=lamsaoday08;9197402]Clarification:

Island - it is a town where we need to take 45 min ferry and it only goes from 6 am to 9 pm. If you misses a ferry, it takes 2 hours for the next one

I'm alone there because my husband and in law need to do the moving during my pregnant and it is 10 hours driving from the old place to the new place.

Yeap...i wishes it can be simple but now a day everyone makes it complicate and especially the in law. Everyone become greedy.

I assume Deathesy02 still single. I feel depress and yet you make it more depressing.[/QUOTE]

EM GAI chi co it loi khuyen em.hay binh tinh va sang suot de suy nghi .dung qua buon chi cung co hoang canh vay va song voi chong va chiu dung tu ong chong cho toi ben chong suot gan 40 nam moi chiu ly di do em.tu tu roi moi viec cung se binh yen dieu can nhat la hay sang suot de suy nghi.neu em dao phat thi hay niem phat bat cu luc nao niem duoc thi cu niem rat la nhiem mau do .em niem nam mo quan the am bo tat .chi vay thoi em se duoc binh yen som hon .

Lamsaoday08 mean What to do 08? I don't know. The in-law is just like the out-law. Most of them careless about the daughter in-law and they do violate lots of humanity rules, that is why I don't consider them as in-law, I call them the out-law. I heard and I read your story hundred of times, probably more like a thousand times. The thoery is, your mother in-law thinks that you stole the most precious thing in her life that is her son. The cold war between you and your mother in-law is going to be there no matter what, she will die one day though, certainly you are a lot younger and this cold war will end then. What are you going to do between now and then is certainly up to you. I often tell people, life is a bi'tch and it is full of expectation, if it doesn't meet the expection, somebody is going to be pissed of at you. Certainly, your mother in-law set her expectation too high.
What happended to you before is history. Your new history (which is future) is determined by what you set today.
Forgiveness is a choice, it is not about forgiving another person and hope she will change, forgiveness will give you release and move on with your day so whatever they did wrong to you won't bother you again. Remember, the only person you can control is you and don't let anybody take that from you. People are selfish, jeolous, and careless. Learn to deal with it. Asking your husband to pick between his mom and you is not recommended. Talk to him emotionally how you feel and ask him to help you to avoid issue. You should find ways to avoid seeing your mother in-law. She hates you whether you see her or not so why see her anymore. Find ways to tell your husband that you are discomfort be around the in-law and he should respect to let you be alone. You can choose not to see your mother out-law, but you shouldn't keep your husband and your son from seeing her.
Make your choice wisely.

[QUOTE=lamsaoday08;9197402]Clarification:

Island - it is a town where we need to take 45 min ferry and it only goes from 6 am to 9 pm. If you misses a ferry, it takes 2 hours for the next one

I'm alone there because my husband and in law need to do the moving during my pregnant and it is 10 hours driving from the old place to the new place.

Yeap...i wishes it can be simple but now a day everyone makes it complicate and especially the in law. Everyone become greedy.

I assume Deathesy02 still single. I feel depress and yet you make it more depressing.[/QUOTE]

im single lol oh geese i wonder what gave that away. is it because of my carelessness of others feelings? fckem

is that what rich people do nowadays, live on an island cause they know poor folks can't afford a ferry ride to bug them? GENIUS!

alright btch, ill go out of my way this time and make you feel better. you see woman, you're smart enough to get married into a wealthy family, learning how to deal with privileged people isnt easy. they have this know it all personality that when compromised, they start talking sh!t. if you stick around long enough to prove your inferiority, they'll love you in the same way someone love their pet, which isnt all that bad. you obviosly dont agree with them when they say you're useless. start agreeing, you think poor people woke up one day and decided to be poor? if you read the bible it says right there in the old testament 4:12 luke skywalker god created poor people on the 7th day. accept your role and be thankful for what the lord gave ya, jack sh!t, its why you got a bachelor which means aboslutely nothing.

if you think being around rich people is bad, wait til you're around poor people and dine out at 7-11, mcdonald seem like a luxury now dont it? god was fair in his creation, gave rich people mercedes and the poor 7-11. according to me, a poor guy, (god didnt make me poor btw, i woke up one day and decided to be this way) 7-11 have all the necessities for life. from hot dogs to liquid substenance like slurpee, shaving cream to tampons, what more does one need? well, maybe a girl who enjoy 7-11 food as much as i do but thats just asking for too much.

so you see, what im trying to say is, did you see all those hot dogs in 7-11? holy fck just look at them, just chillen on that rolling grill looking delicious as ever, just waiting for me to consume them. feel better?

Reading your post made me reminiscing of my past; I too was once having a mother in law, and we did have quite a few conflicts. Although our differences never really flared, it was a silent war nonetheless. However, I had never forgotten this one simple fact; that is the man I chose as my husband is also her son. It was she who gave him life, and who doubtlessly raised him to be a good man. With that in mind, I always knew my boundary and treated her like I treat my own mother, regardless of our disparity. It was until later on that I realized that I love her too, but it was too late then. She passed away, and I never had a chance to express that love.

I dont know your situation well to pass judgment, but I hope that you will come to realize that you have no right to forbid your husband to see his mother. She had toiled her life to bringing him up, so it is natural for him to reciprocate that affection and devotion. To ask him to choose side is unacceptable because he should do what is right.You choose him as your husband, then respect him like one. Don't dictate him what to do because it will backfire. If you think it is unjust and unfair of how your in laws treat you, then express your hurt feeling and avoid associating with them. Tell him, but don't force him to see your views only. Sometimes it helps to step back and examine ourselves - we would learn a lot!

First you said,

[QUOTE=lamsaoday08]
By the way, everyone in the town was shock when they hear i marry my husband since she has a reputation and no one want to marry him because of her - dictator. Everything has to go her way. [/QUOTE]

Then you said,

[QUOTE=lamsaoday08]
Seriously, if i know this, i rather stay single. [/QUOTE]

The fact is you knew. You just thought you were special that she wouldn't do it to you too.

It is easy to say than to do especially you are the one who in the situation. I come from a good family and i know what is the right thing to do. I try to make peace many time and yet i dont think i will work from now on. It keeps build up more and more anger on both side.

I would like to thanks everyone for advice. It really make me feel better and calm down.

Chi Ngoi - I'm not sure budda will help me but i'm believe you will get what you plant. I will do as you advise - niem phat - to calm myself.
Also to you, i hope you life will be better and happier. Your kids will see and appreciate more.

Maxwell - yes, my nick mean what to do 08. I understand your point of view - forgiveness. I would like to do it but it is so hard. Maybe in a long long time i will forgive but at this time, everytime i think about it, i'm so upset and i cry lots. Sometime i feel really sorry for her. She wont close her eyes when she die since she keep thinking about her money. Anyway, I dont forbide my husband going to see her since he is her son but i dont like my son going to see her. She didnt treat me nice and why try to be nice with my son. By the way, my son lose his voice due to crying everytime when she wants to keep him. And i dont trust her to take care him well.

Deathesy02 - it is not because you are careless but i feel you didnt have the in law yet. So i assume you are single:)

Wanderlust - you love her even with the cold war? how?

Daibang - yes, very conflict in me. I know his mother has a reputation and yet i marry my husband. Love, is that what people said..love is a blind. I dont know what got into me but i do love my husband very much and crazy enough to get marry him. If one day, i have a girl. I wouldnt let her to get to know a guy who has a dictator mother.

Lamsaoday,
I didn't say it was easy, if it easy you wouldn't be up here asking questions. If you sit here and think about what you should and shouldn't do, it is not going to help you. You chose to marry into a dictador family, and now you face your consequences. I didn't say you have to forgive her either, it is the choice you have to make whether you forgive or not. Look, if you are looking for peace within yourself, you might need to do whatever it take to get that peace, give a little and don't take anything back. I pissed off from time to time but I learn that if If choose to have a bigger heart and be able to take any criticism, I feel much better. Every action have a reaction. The happiness you are looking for is all about how your perceive and respond to others. Look, if you sit around and wonder if and when happy will come to you, your day will be very long. By the way, Niem Phat, is not going to help you find peace within your self either, UNDERSTAND HIS TEACHING, YOU WILL....
Death's comments are a little hassle, but they are probably more reality and better than mine.

[QUOTE=lamsaoday08;9205346]It is easy to say than to do especially you are the one who in the situation. I come from a good family and i know what is the right thing to do. I try to make peace many time and yet i dont think i will work from now on. It keeps build up more and more anger on both side.

I would like to thanks everyone for advice. It really make me feel better and calm down.

Chi Ngoi - I'm not sure budda will help me but i'm believe you will get what you plant. I will do as you advise - niem phat - to calm myself.
Also to you, i hope you life will be better and happier. Your kids will see and appreciate more.

Maxwell - yes, my nick mean what to do 08. I understand your point of view - forgiveness. I would like to do it but it is so hard. Maybe in a long long time i will forgive but at this time, everytime i think about it, i'm so upset and i cry lots. Sometime i feel really sorry for her. She wont close her eyes when she die since she keep thinking about her money. Anyway, I dont forbide my husband going to see her since he is her son but i dont like my son going to see her. She didnt treat me nice and why try to be nice with my son. By the way, my son lose his voice due to crying everytime when she wants to keep him. And i dont trust her to take care him well.

Deathesy02 - it is not because you are careless but i feel you didnt have the in law yet. So i assume you are single:)

Wanderlust - you love her even with the cold war? how?

Daibang - yes, very conflict in me. I know his mother has a reputation and yet i marry my husband. Love, is that what people said..love is a blind. I dont know what got into me but i do love my husband very much and crazy enough to get marry him. If one day, i have a girl. I wouldnt let her to get to know a guy who has a dictator mother.[/QUOTE]

you should take all her jewelry, bury it and make a treasure map.

LSD: Like your mother in law, my mother in law also thought that I was not good enough for her son because of his two doctoral degrees. She also thought that my atheism was the root cause that her son abandoned his family's faith. However, before she succumbed to the illness that eventually ended her life, she opened up to me and expressed regrets of not having much time to "bond" etc. Since then, I witnessed her health getting deteriorated. Seeing her suffered was one of the hardest things in my life; it made me forget all the petty things that she had done in the past. So I became attached to her and loved her, even it was only a brief moment. So in honor of her memories, I made sure both of my daughters excel in piano because music was her passion when she lived. I don't know what to say about your case; only hope that you will find your peace. In life, we all have to fight, but there are fights which are not worth fighting for. The vagary of life is too unpredictable for holding onto grudges.. Good luck!

WOW, what a story... I'm so glad I don't have a mother in law like you and W, she passed away way before I even know my husband, but I'm not any better than you here, b/c my father in law is like a nightmare. Even though there were families get together and stuff, I'm no where to be found.... b/c I'm tired from doing his way. He's now real sick and afraid to go anyway b/c scare to die..I do feel sorry for him in a way, but still don't want to see him, don't know why, my pride I guess...

Anyway, LSD, you already know he was a mamma boy, yet you still marry him. You mentioned all your pains,yet you still don't want to leave your husband...hmm.. no one could help you but yourself here girl. Imagine you're at the edge of a big fire (your marriage), what would you do? Go through it? or find another way out? ..

Like you mentioned, you're a grad. student, smart enough to know what right/wrong to do huh?

good luck

once a mother will alway be a mother.me a father,me go a rouund the earth,the earth is roud and round and round and it go back to me

[QUOTE=drunkenfu;9217188]once a mother will alway be a mother.me a father,me go a rouund the earth,the earth is roud and round and round and it go back to me[/QUOTE]

your circus of a mind is fcked up beyond any hope of unfcking.

It's hilarious reading what this idiot Deathesy02 types!

lol

Death ...íts the first time I found you hilarious ....hahahah ..

Death, Dep_qua, and Maquyvotinh have this cute love-hate relationship online eh? =)

hey you, thenNnow and littlefox. you guys wanna hear a joke? :cry:

[QUOTE=Deathesy02;9225109]hey you, thenNnow and littlefox. you guys wanna hear a joke? :cry:[/QUOTE]

Let's hear it emo king..............................