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ZayZua
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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Old 05-20-2012 , 06:46 AM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
I dated this guy for 6 months. He took me home to meet his family on Christmas day and I though it was fantastic. He said the word: I love you first. And, I really bought it, I fell in love with him and now I'm in too deep to get out. I know he does not have any money, but, I still love him. I texted and called him everyday, and he seldom called me back. Some days, he does not even return my calls at all. He does not have a job. It gets more interesting, I just found out that he had a girlfriend for 12 years. They have been on and off for 12 years. She wrote him while he went to jail. This is still nothing. After I confront him, he did not border to explain a dang thing to me- He just left me. I know that I should leave him alone because he already had a girlfriend, but I can't. And guess what, he live with her, and she pay all the bills. He does not pay anything nor has a job. He asked me for money. I was stupid to believe him and what is more crazier is that I still cling to him and still love him. He said that he will move in with me if I found a apartment, but he did not say when. He "lied" to me from the beginning and I don't think I believe him anymore. I got so devastated after I found out he had another women. He was the first guy that I said the L word to. I did not do anything wrong to him, whatever he want- I'll get it for him. I'm faithful to him and this is how he return my love? I don't understand-what did I do to deserve such betrayal?

He told me that he loved her and me both, but I'm pretty sure he loves her more than he love me. I don't think I love him more than she loved him. I want to stop talking to him, but I have to see him around. So, how can I let him go?

Please, give me some advices.
Man_VF
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Old 05-20-2012 , 07:39 AM     Man_VF est dconnect  search   Quote  
He lied to you all this time and you still want to be with him? That is a really stupid move. Nothing good can come out in the long term. Cut your losses, and don't see him anymore. No more contact, and when you are ready, focus your love on someone else.

Last edited by Man_VF; 05-20-2012 at 07:41 AM..
ZayZua
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Old 05-20-2012 , 08:22 AM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
The thing is I see him at my workplace- I cant avoid see him. Normally, if I dont see him, then I can manage, but if I see him, I lost control.
Man_VF
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Old 05-20-2012 , 08:59 AM     Man_VF est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=ZayZua;9172500]The thing is I see him at my workplace- I cant avoid see him. Normally, if I dont see him, then I can manage, but if I see him, I lost control.[/QUOTE]

Workplace? You said he didn't have a job.

Anyhow, even if you two are in the same job, you can still keep your distance and don't talk to him. Just tell him, "I don't want to be around you anymore more. Don't talk to me in the future".
ZayZua
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Old 05-20-2012 , 09:03 AM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
He comes by at my workplace-He does not have a job.

I tried to avoid him, but sometimes, I have to talk to him due to my work.

I wish I can quit the job, but I cant'.
Man_VF
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Old 05-20-2012 , 09:16 AM     Man_VF est dconnect  search   Quote  
Tell him not to come then. If that doesn't work, tell your employer not to let him in.
Maxwell
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Old 05-21-2012 , 02:33 AM     Maxwell est actuellement connect  search   Quote  
don't feel so stupid, we all have the same or difference stupid moment or moments in our life. Look, it is the lesson, when you face it reality, you will feel much better. If you put emotional too much into it, you always feel stupid. don't be disappoint at yourself because you didn't know, be angry at him. the best way to let him go is let yourself go away from him, control yourself, tell him that he's the liar, the son of a b....., and a jerk, tell him howerver you felll you want to tell him. Other than that, lesson to learn, never date your co-worker.
DriedPlum
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Old 05-21-2012 , 06:01 AM     DriedPlum est dconnect  search   Quote  
Your story have so many weird components to it. First you say he doesn't work, but comes by your workplace.... uhhm why? Then you "have to" talk to him due to your work? uhhhm why? You must work for welfare and he is there to get some. Only thing I could think of.

Why exactly do you want a jobless coward who mooch off of women who is lying and probably doesn't even love you. I mean even if someone like that love me, I'm not sure if I would even accept that kind of love. I been backstabbed by a guy I probably don't want before too so I know how you feel. Just cut contacts. You deserve better if you have any self-esteem. Imagine your future with this guy. I mean once the hype of love wears off, I am sure you would be really disgusted by this guy. I tell ya, time apart from this dump that you think you love is going to do you some good. You will look back and think, "What the hell was I thinking." Why was I in love with this scum of society?" I can already see how embarrassed I would be if I would to take him home to my family or introduce him to my friends. Don't waste more of your valuable time. This time is better spent improving yourself and finding someone who is a better fit for yourself.
HunnyBunny
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Old 05-21-2012 , 07:44 AM     HunnyBunny est dconnect  search   Quote  
"Why do fools fall in love" Love that Movie, u should watch it..... :D :o

Bunny
ZayZua
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Old 05-21-2012 , 09:20 AM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=DriedPlum;9173833]Your story have so many weird components to it. First you say he doesn't work, but comes by your workplace.... uhhm why? Then you "have to" talk to him due to your work? uhhhm why? You must work for welfare and he is there to get some. Only thing I could think of.

Why exactly do you want a jobless coward who mooch off of women who is lying and probably doesn't even love you. I mean even if someone like that love me, I'm not sure if I would even accept that kind of love. I been backstabbed by a guy I probably don't want before too so I know how you feel. Just cut contacts. You deserve better if you have any self-esteem. Imagine your future with this guy. I mean once the hype of love wears off, I am sure you would be really disgusted by this guy. I tell ya, time apart from this dump that you think you love is going to do you some good. You will look back and think, "What the hell was I thinking." Why was I in love with this scum of society?" I can already see how embarrassed I would be if I would to take him home to my family or introduce him to my friends. Don't waste more of your valuable time. This time is better spent improving yourself and finding someone who is a better fit for yourself.[/QUOTE]

He is a customer at where I work. He comes in to buy stuffs. He sells "crack" to make a living.
Maxwell
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Old 05-21-2012 , 10:11 AM     Maxwell est actuellement connect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=ZayZua;9174419]He is a customer at where I work. He comes in to buy stuffs. He sells "crack" to make a living.[/QUOTE]

there you go, you should turn him in that would make you smarter. Don't feel sorry for him because I bet he ain't felling sorry for you.
ZayZua
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Old 05-21-2012 , 11:02 AM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=Maxwell;9174586]there you go, you should turn him in that would make you smarter. Don't feel sorry for him because I bet he ain't felling sorry for you.[/QUOTE]

I thought about that, 2, but it aint worth my time. I dont feel like doing that to him either, it just doesnt right.

Things will catch up to him.
xo151
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Old 05-21-2012 , 11:37 AM     xo151 est dconnect  search   Quote  
So you're in love with a jobless crack dealer who's been in jail? It just goes to show that women fall for the bad boys even when it doesn't make sense.
ZayZua
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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Old 05-21-2012 , 12:29 PM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=xo151;9174784]So you're in love with a jobless crack dealer who's been in jail? It just goes to show that women fall for the bad boys even when it doesn't make sense.[/QUOTE]

Yep, I still love him, but I dont think I'm in love with him anymore. I'm constantly fighting and struggle against that dang feeling for dating a guy like him.
Man_VF
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Old 05-21-2012 , 12:39 PM     Man_VF est dconnect  search   Quote  
Just curious, is he Viet?
GreenSmurf
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Old 05-30-2012 , 12:16 AM     GreenSmurf est dconnect  search   Quote  
let me guess.. he's black and you're fat... I've seen this story played out so many times on Jerry Springer before.
ZayZua
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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Old 05-30-2012 , 05:32 PM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=GreenSmurf;9188680]let me guess.. he's black and you're fat... I've seen this story played out so many times on Jerry Springer before.[/QUOTE]

I'm not fat- 5ft3-120lbs.
it's not like Jerry Springer show, lol. Nevertheless-I admitted I was stupid n blinded to fall for a guy like him-but when it comes to love-I'm helpless. Anyway-it getting better.
Genghis_Khan
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Old 06-02-2012 , 05:34 AM     Genghis_Khan est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=ZayZua;9191169]I'm not fat- 5ft3-120lbs.
it's not like Jerry Springer show, lol. Nevertheless-I admitted I was stupid n blinded to fall for a guy like him-but when it comes to love-I'm helpless. Anyway-it getting better.

He told me that he loved her and me both, but I'm pretty sure he loves her more than he love me. I don't think I love him more than she loved him. I want to stop talking to him, but I have to see him around. So, how can I let him go?

[/QUOTE]

Why fight over who loves whom more? Just remember that he loved you both as much as he loved that hoooker on the corner of the street. You all can move to Utah and live happily ever after...Oohh, how romantic!!
crazyme
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Old 06-02-2012 , 12:28 PM     crazyme est dconnect  search   Quote  
Something is wrong wiith you pesonally if you disregarded the fact that he has a criminal record. That alone would have been it for me. He does not have a job, would have been a turn off for me as well. He has a girlfriend would have been an added reason to not want him. He's a loser and I wouldn't be caught dead with him let alone having his kids one of these days. He probably doesn't have a college degree right? Another turn-off for me.
ZayZua
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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Old 06-02-2012 , 01:15 PM     ZayZua est dconnect  search   Quote  
[QUOTE=crazyme;9196576]Something is wrong wiith you pesonally if you disregarded the fact that he has a criminal record. That alone would have been it for me. He does not have a job, would have been a turn off for me as well. He has a girlfriend would have been an added reason to not want him. He's a loser and I wouldn't be caught dead with him let alone having his kids one of these days. He probably doesn't have a college degree right? Another turn-off for me.[/QUOTE]

Yep- he doesnt have anything- as a matter of fact- he just came home for about 7 months. There is something serious wrong with me. I know that-I disregarded a lot about him, because I think if you truly love someone- you should not look at the person like that- but I got back-stabbed- he lied, cheated, and tried to used me---guess I deserved this for being stupid....and the funny thing is that he is the first one that I ever say the L word to. This is very bs and I know I got f*** up pretty bad!!!!!
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