Xin chao cac anh chi/Hello All

I have been married for 8 years and have two kids. About 2-3 years ago, I was stressed because of work. Because of this, my wife had always thought I didn't care about her. Everytime we went to bed I just fell asleep because I worked two jobs back then. She always felt sad and brought up to my attention. I honestly told her that I was tired. By the way, she is a stay home mom taking care of kids. Last year, my wife went back to vietnam because her dad was passing away. During her stay in vietnam, she met a man who considered "a caring man" and know how to make her feel like " a wife." Finally, both of them slept together. She didn't tell me until I asked her after she got back to US.

When she got back to the US the end of last year 2011, she never said "sorry" to me. In fact, she even talked to a vietnam guy on the phone in front of me and even chatted online with him. I caught her doing that. When I confronted, she said "give her sometimes". I told her that she needed to stop, but she never listened to me. All of this going on for about 4 months.

Recently she told me that she told the guy to stop calling or chatting with her. She changed her mind because she found out that I was calling someone in vietnam.

During my 8 years of marriage, I just felt she didn't respect or listen to me. She and I couldn't agree on educating our kids and the way about life. I can go on and on.

I need some advice whether I should divorce or not. What should I do?

Sorry for the long post, but this thing has been bugging for a whole year already. I need some advice both of us should move on with our life.

thanks in advance for all your advice/ Cam on anh chi. rat la nhieu

If I was a housewife and married to a man that work 2 jobs to support our family, I would feel like the luckiest woman on earth. I would do anything to make sure my hard working husband feel happy.
Life is too short to live in miserable, you should be happy.... regardless if happiness means being single and getting a divorce.

whatever decision you will make you will need to stand behind it and support it. But first, you have gotten to ask your yourself that where is you dignity? what is your value? what is right for you for being a man in a family? Everybody different, every situation different? Do you still love your wife or you live with her because of the kids' shake? it appears that your tolorance is not there. It's easy to talk about divorce but it is hard to do, it is not like you can buy stuffs from Walmart. Did you try outsources for help, you guys missing a lot of things there, intimacy, time, respect, communicate, and most friendship. Let not talking about decisions for the kids, shame on both of you!, you guys can't make decision on yourself, much less for the kids. If you find out the love, the kindness, friendship, the negotiation isn't there, you might need to consider your decision. People can deal with disagreement, fights but not cheating.

[QUOTE=Maxwell;9254365]whatever decision you will make you will need to stand behind it and support it. But first, you have gotten to ask your yourself that where is you dignity? what is your value? what is right for you for being a man in a family? Everybody different, every situation different? Do you still love your wife or you live with her because of the kids' shake? it appears that your tolorance is not there. It's easy to talk about divorce but it is hard to do, it is not like you can buy stuffs from Walmart. Did you try outsources for help, you guys missing a lot of things there, intimacy, time, respect, communicate, and most friendship. Let not talking about decisions for the kids, shame on both of you!, you guys can't make decision on yourself, much less for the kids. If you find out the love, the kindness, friendship, the negotiation isn't there, you might need to consider your decision. People can deal with disagreement, fights but not cheating.[/QUOTE]

mister familyman i will address your issue shortly, but first i have a few question for mister maxwell.

mister maxwell, watdafuq did i just read? stop asking question inside of a question man that sh!ts annoying as fck, its tying my brain up in a knot. im sure most here would agree with your jack of all trade meaningful insight. the reason i said jack of all trade is this:

dear mister maxwell, i just got out of the shower and during the shower i saw that my bush needs some trimming but since i will not be getting laid for a while should i just let it grow? heres your advice to my bush problem:

"whatever decision you will make you will need to stand behind it and support it. But first, you have gotten to ask your yourself that where is you dignity? what is your value? what is right for you for being a man in a family? Everybody different, every situation different? Do you still love your wife or you live with her because of the kids' shake? it appears that your tolorance is not there. It's easy to talk about divorce but it is hard to do, it is not like you can buy stuffs from Walmart. Did you try outsources for help, you guys missing a lot of things there, intimacy, time, respect, communicate, and most friendship. Let not talking about decisions for the kids, shame on both of you!, you guys can't make decision on yourself, much less for the kids. If you find out the love, the kindness, friendship, the negotiation isn't there, you might need to consider your decision. People can deal with disagreement, fights but not cheating"

Divorce asap. She slept with another man already and you don't know what to do.

[QUOTE=familyman;9253777]Xin chao cac anh chi/Hello All

I have been married for 8 years and have two kids. About 2-3 years ago, I was stressed because of work. Because of this, my wife had always thought I didn't care about her. Everytime we went to bed I just fell asleep because I worked two jobs back then. She always felt sad and brought up to my attention. I honestly told her that I was tired. By the way, she is a stay home mom taking care of kids. Last year, my wife went back to vietnam because her dad was passing away. During her stay in vietnam, she met a man who considered "a caring man" and know how to make her feel like " a wife." Finally, both of them slept together. She didn't tell me until I asked her after she got back to US.

When she got back to the US the end of last year 2011, she never said "sorry" to me. In fact, she even talked to a vietnam guy on the phone in front of me and even chatted online with him. I caught her doing that. When I confronted, she said "give her sometimes". I told her that she needed to stop, but she never listened to me. All of this going on for about 4 months.

Recently she told me that she told the guy to stop calling or chatting with her. She changed her mind because she found out that I was calling someone in vietnam.

During my 8 years of marriage, I just felt she didn't respect or listen to me. She and I couldn't agree on educating our kids and the way about life. I can go on and on.

I need some advice whether I should divorce or not. What should I do?

Sorry for the long post, but this thing has been bugging for a whole year already. I need some advice both of us should move on with our life.

thanks in advance for all your advice/ Cam on anh chi. rat la nhieu[/QUOTE]

now your turn mister familyman. so you work two jobs to support your family. you work hard for your money and im sure you're proud of that..WHY THE FCK ARE YOU PROUD BECAUSE U HAVE TO WORK HARD FOR YOUR MONEY!!!!!????? DO YOU SEE SLAVES TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT THEY DO IN THE COTTON FIELD??!! no, no they do not. im sure your mind have been conditioned and institutionalized by many years of college to conform and accept your bosses as your pimp and overlord but even hoes get holidays off am i right? so every once in a while your pimp throw you a bone, you get 2 weeks of vacation more if you've been a productive ho. you're a grown azz adult who need to be told when you can have lunch, when you can take a break and where to piss. we're men, we take pisses wherever the fck we feel like it. but you pee sitting down dont you mister familyman?

its why your wife dont respect you. you spend all day being someones btch while your wife and kids are at home waiting. they eat dinner without you and your wife goes to sleep alone while you're sucking d!cks and kissing azz for a paycheck. "but but....i need to bust my balls to feed my family!" shut the fck up and quit your whinning btch. why did you have kids if you cant be there for them with just one job? you have nobody to blame but society itself.

Your wife crossed the line when she slept with man. (period)

Why cheat when you can divorce.

Hai vợ chồng mà không vui vẻ thì có cả trăm thứ để đổi thừa, đi làm nhiều không đủ thời gian với gia đình và khi ở với gia đình thì nói là làm quá ít không đủ tiền trả bills.

Không thích gia đình chồng / vợ ..không thích gia đình vợ /chong6` .......không thích họ hàng ...the list is on and on .....

Hai vợ chồng của FM thì Then không biêt. Vợ của FM ngoại tình thì có nguyên nhân của her ....Chưa chắc gì cô ta nghĩ là cô ta có lổi . She has her own reasons to justify her action.

she is wrong in every way.

You never right or wrong in your marriage. It takes two to tango ...

Dear familyman:

You said that "During my 8 years of marriage, I just felt she didn't respect or listen to me. She and I couldn't agree on educating our kids and the way about life. I can go on and on." <=== And you couldn't figure this out sooner prior to releasing your myriad of sperm cells and impregnating her?

You failed as a husband and you neglected your duties as a husband. Do you think that just because your wife is a housewife that she doesn't need love, appreciation, and intimacy? You neglected her all those years so she had to seek affection from another man. Don't use the excuse of working two jobs and feeling "tired" because I'm sure it was more like you were tired of your wife than anything else. She was wrong to have slept with another man but your actions and deliberate neglect drove her to commit adultery and infidelity. Where there is smoke, there is fire my friend.

I work two full time jobs AND I do on call but I would never neglect my partner because the minute you take your partner for granted, the relationship unravels each and every time and it's extremely difficult to put the pieces back together.

You two have grown apart and have diverged on numerous issues in the past so it is best to go your own separate ways and find your own source of happiness because life is already complicated as it is...don't make it more complicated than what it has to be.

If she slept with someone during her dad passed away event. Fck! game over.
This lady has a lot of respect with her own dad and you.

Sorry if my words would insult your wife. truly sorry.

Reading your post, I get the impression that you are inclining to part with your wife, eventhough you are not very convinced of your own decision. 8 Years of marriage is not short, and usually at this stage husband and wife find it difficult to go on. The responsibility to care for a family could be burdensome and overwhelming, and often times it left us no time for intimacy with our partner. We then became emotional distant, to which infidelity arose. It was wrong of your wife to commit adultery, however, your neglect had driven her to that extreme. Her father's passing was probably another factor; when she lost him, she was at her weakest. She might not have the reason nor strength to resist temptation. You were not there to comfort her, so someone else took that role. Nevertheless, a wrong has been done, and it is up to you to decide what is next. I simply hope that you will reconsider your decision. It is easy to go separate way, but is it really the best thing to do now? If you and your wife able to resolve this obstacle, your marriage will be stronger. Your children will benefit more. There was love once, and to rekindle it may not be that difficult or hopeless. Save times for your wife and children and yourself too; we grow old too quick. Money is important, but we can always spend a little less. Happiness is what make us richer and fuller. Good luck!

Gonna talk in third person to avoid liability should this be viewed as bad advice.

If he wants a divorce, do it. Lengthy justifications aren't necessary. The kids will eventually forgive them.

If he doesn't want a divorce but she does, do it. Who would want to be reminded over and over he was double crossed? Who would want to feel neglected over and over by her husband?

If neither person wants a divorce, get a big magnet and erase all phone, computer and human memories of bad (or possibly erotic?) infidelity and resentment. Young children will appreciate and benefit from the tunnel vision directed at them. There is also that slim chance of affection returning to the marriage.

[QUOTE=ThenNnow;9256323]Your wife crossed the line when she slept with man. (period)[/QUOTE]

This person is 100% correct. Your wife committed a huge sin.

On the other hand, if she slept with another woman, I'd say let's forgive and join in, eh?

[QUOTE=familyman;9253777]Xin chao cac anh chi/Hello All

I have been married for 8 years and have two kids. About 2-3 years ago, I was stressed because of work. Because of this, my wife had always thought I didn't care about her. Everytime we went to bed I just fell asleep because I worked two jobs back then. She always felt sad and brought up to my attention. I honestly told her that I was tired. By the way, she is a stay home mom taking care of kids. Last year, my wife went back to vietnam because her dad was passing away. During her stay in vietnam, she met a man who considered "a caring man" and know how to make her feel like " a wife." Finally, both of them slept together. She didn't tell me until I asked her after she got back to US.

When she got back to the US the end of last year 2011, she never said "sorry" to me. In fact, she even talked to a vietnam guy on the phone in front of me and even chatted online with him. I caught her doing that. When I confronted, she said "give her sometimes". I told her that she needed to stop, but she never listened to me. All of this going on for about 4 months.

Recently she told me that she told the guy to stop calling or chatting with her. She changed her mind because she found out that I was calling someone in vietnam.

During my 8 years of marriage, I just felt she didn't respect or listen to me. She and I couldn't agree on educating our kids and the way about life. I can go on and on.

I need some advice whether I should divorce or not. What should I do?

Sorry for the long post, but this thing has been bugging for a whole year already. I need some advice both of us should move on with our life.

thanks in advance for all your advice/ Cam on anh chi. rat la nhieu[/QUOTE]
Đàn bà khi không có chuyện gì làm thì thường nghĩ đến làm tình.Có hai giải Pháp;
1 you phải trả bài hàng ngày cho her .Nếu như vậy thì vào website;htp;//wwwtuluc.com mua cuốn sách KỲ NỮ PHÙ TANG
nó chỉ dẫn về kỷ thuật làm tình đưa nàng lên tuyệt đỉnh vu sơn
2 Kiếm một job fulltime cho nàng làm ,còn hai đứa con thì đem đi gởi .Khi nàng đi làm về phải lo nấu ăn,cho con ăn không có thời gian mà gọi về Việt Nam đâu.Weekend thì nên chở vợ con đi chơi săng sóc vợ

[QUOTE=familyman;9253777]Xin chao cac anh chi/Hello All

I have been married for 8 years and have two kids. About 2-3 years ago, I was stressed because of work. Because of this, my wife had always thought I didn't care about her. Everytime we went to bed I just fell asleep because I worked two jobs back then. She always felt sad and brought up to my attention. I honestly told her that I was tired. By the way, she is a stay home mom taking care of kids. Last year, my wife went back to vietnam because her dad was passing away. During her stay in vietnam, she met a man who considered "a caring man" and know how to make her feel like " a wife." Finally, both of them slept together. She didn't tell me until I asked her after she got back to US.

When she got back to the US the end of last year 2011, she never said "sorry" to me. In fact, she even talked to a vietnam guy on the phone in front of me and even chatted online with him. I caught her doing that. When I confronted, she said "give her sometimes". I told her that she needed to stop, but she never listened to me. All of this going on for about 4 months.

Recently she told me that she told the guy to stop calling or chatting with her. She changed her mind because she found out that I was calling someone in vietnam.

During my 8 years of marriage, I just felt she didn't respect or listen to me. She and I couldn't agree on educating our kids and the way about life. I can go on and on.

I need some advice whether I should divorce or not. What should I do?

Sorry for the long post, but this thing has been bugging for a whole year already. I need some advice both of us should move on with our life.

thanks in advance for all your advice/ Cam on anh chi. rat la nhieu[/QUOTE]

Questions: "She changed her mind because she found out that I was calling someone in vietnam" -> who was that "someone" you called in VN? If it's another woman then when did that start?

"During my 8 years of marriage, I just felt she didn't respect or listen to me" -> How did she not respect or listen to you? "listening" itself isn't respect, and respect isn't all about listening either.

...so it took you the whole 8 years to now pinpoint your differences from her?...to make it a big deal about your not being able to agree on child-rearing and so on and so forth?

Being a stay-at-home Mom with 2 kids could be a pretty tough full time job there depending on how old the kids are. With school-age kids then that's a different story. Although I must say she did take your love and care for her and the family for granted. And yes, no woman/man has the right to talk on the phone/chat with another man/woman in front of his/her spouse-I can see how she "disrespects" you there!

Being stressed out from work, though, can't be used as an excuse for not keeping up with your marriage life. She did bring the issue up back then and your being able to tell her to stop her infidelity tells that you both are able to communicate in tough times. Why not use that communication skill once again-find the time to sit down, lay everything out on the table and discuss it over. See what she thinks of the marriage, of you, whether she wants to stay in this marriage or move on,...and if she decides she wants to stay then what are her expectations of you and what she could do to help keep your family together.

On your end - if you feel that her infidelity can't be forgiven then this marriage might not work. You might want to step back, give yourself and her some space and time and reassess those 8 years you've been together. Think about the kids-draw a picture of where the kids might be and how they would do if you and her were divorced. See if those 8 years deserve another chance for you both and the kids altogether.

If the answer to my first question is "yes it's another woman" then I say I truly feel sorry for the kids...

Poor guy. His wife already proudly ****ed another man and he is still here asking for advices of what to do.

Not sure about u, but if my wife f-ucks another man, she is no longer my wife. She may still be my kids' mom, but not my wife.

geez leave that wife alone,, u vietfunner slut..if da husband dont give her the mojo, she got to get it somewhere else, atleast she slammin the viet and not some mi den or homeless dude.. dam girls got needs too iam pretty sure she sick of cucummber n dildo, want to slam some real cock...so leave her yellow sticky azz alone yo..

and for the family guy, atleast some other dude is taking care of yr wife, u have two jobs, u dont want to slam yr wife, that like 3 jobs,, i rather take the money than the wife, after 8years she all wrinkle up anyway, time to get yr oil change from a new car... trade in yr old wife or just call the viet dude n have her tow away... free cost to u.. u should be happy..n for da kids, ebay them or craiglist them, no need for there gene cuz mostly it from da mom anyway.

Partially was your fault - you neglected her first man - every one need f sometime right hiihi...Anyway, if you still love her then have a talk , forgive and forget then move on with your live...life is too short for this ****...

It is so common when people from different cultures marry. Probably you can never have an equal conversation on an equal level. It is to your advantage to stick with the marriage for the sake of the kids - thaqt will save you lots of Alimony and Child support. Also remember that your wife does not have the same IQ/EQ to understand your plight to maintain a household ! Bad luck ! what else to say ?

Hi,

Either way you choose, stay or divorce, is painful. So choose your poison.

Stay--pro and con

Divorce--pro and con

Which way you choose please choose for yourself. I am a fan believer one healthly happy parent rise better children (better future citizen) then two unhealtly, sick parents to rise the children.

Good luck.

your wife is out sucking di*k and your got to come here and ask what to do?

What you need to do is get a good lawyer, your wife is going to take half your assets, all those years of working, and you about to lose it.

She going to use your money on her new guy