My husband and I have been married for six years. We live in Sydney (Australia). We have two darling baby boys together.

When we were dating, his parents did not create any issues for us, but the dramatic issues only started when my hubby proposed to me. My mother told him not to marry me since she does not like me, while his father basically told me that he prefers to have a buddhist daughter in-law not a Roman Catholic girl like myself.

Anyway, we persevered and got married. His parents told us that we were not welcomed to live with them and that we had to move out..so we did. We bought a small house according to our meagre budget at the time, and tried our hardest to support ourselves and each other.

My hubby's two brothers also got married, but they never had to move out, they lived with my inlaws because they were all from the same religion (buddhist), so they were very well received and supported. My hubby's brothers and their wives never had to pay any board or lodging, and my parents in laws supported them all. This is because my father in law works at the temple as a treasurer, so they are quite comfortable.

In 2009, our first born son was born. My father in law visited us at the private hospital and announced that my son was born at the wrong time and the wrong year (year of the Ox) and that he did not approve of his new grandchild. I was devastated and angry, because, I had just given birth. I was tired and worn out, yet the inlaws came to the hospital with the intention of not congratulating us, but to scold us. My mother was there aswell, she too was upset. Anyway, I did not say anything, and bottled it up.

Our son grew up, my in laws continues to ignore us, never paid us any visits, and when we tried to visit them, they would ask us questions like " what do you want? why are you here?" So, I kept my distance.

Interestingly, when there's a family celebration, we'd be invited. My inlaws would expect my hubby to pay for all the expensive presents, and all the costly restaurant bills. But on the other hand they would treat us like dirt. Mind you, my hubby is the eldest son the family, he has two younger married brothers (with kids) and a younger married sister. But his siblings and their families, do not pay, only my hubby pays. I told my hubby, that we can not afford to pay for his family all the time as we are not well off. But hubby happily pays. The inlaws continues to receive our presents and treat our children like as though they have contagious diseases.

It saddens me when I have to bear witness to my sons being so badly treated by the inlaws, so I asked my hubby if he could just attend the family functions without us and we just stay at home. Hubby said no, because he wants our sons to grow up and know their father's side of the family. Hubby and I are in disagreement over this.

My mother and father in law would fuss over the other grandkids, buy them expensive presents but on the other hand they would ignore and discriminate our sons, buy our sons second hand presents or really bad toys from the bargain stores. My hubby's brothers and sisters and their own families also ignore us as well, as they can obviously see that we are not the favourites so they themselves have formed their own tight cliques and do not include us.

Yet, my hubby still wants to keep in contact with such people!

What would you do if you are in my situation??? Do you think what I am asking my hubby to do is too much or unreasonable?

:Cry:

chắc phãi kêu chồng đi thử máu coi có phãi là con ruột
cũa ba mẹ him không ????

.

No, You did not ask too much/unreasonable from your husband. I would ask the same thing if I were you.

Does your husband think you guys (you and the kids) are mistreated by his parents? He might not feel the same way.

Hỏi chồng để được ở nhà không work, nếu là Then thì Then sẻ hỏi ông bà già chồng thẳng (đợi có mặt ông con của ở bả luôn) ... "Ba má ghét con với hai cháu lắm hả ?" thử coi ông bà trả lời làm sao ....



:kiss :hug

You should happily pay for your in-laws, be real nice to them, and listen to them regardless what they say and follow it to the T as if your life depends on it, JUST KIDDING.

If your in-laws are not nice and fair to you, you definitely don't need to be nice and fair to them.

My hubby and his two brothers went to get a DNA test not so long ago and the results turned out positive, in fact they are 99.996% from the same paternal linenage.

My hubby does agree that our two sons are treated differently, but he still wants them to hang around his side of the family. Last time, his youngest brother got married, my hubby's parents only acknowledged all the other grandkids, and totally ignored our sons, so the wedding photographers and cameramen took lots of pictures of all the other grandkids and our sons had no pictures taken at all. I mean, little things like that really bothers me.

Last year, my in laws went to VN for two months, came back with lots of presents for their grandkids, my sons were given an ugly jacket which they'd bought from a flee market, while the other grandkids all received expensive presents. I am sick and tired of seeing our little family so badly treated. I would like to move to another state, but my hubby wants to hang around his family.

:mad:

Give your sons more love from what they are lacking, ignore your in-law and their unfair treatment. Don't try to have your husband pick his family over you, it will never work. They are his family and you shouldn't come in between, it would only hurt you and your little family in the end. Just smile and ignore the little things.

Your situation is very similar to mine except I'm the guy in your husband's place. I think your husband has been brainwashed by his family and they rely on him for some kind of financial support and your in-laws see you as the person stripping that gold mine away from them.

I think your best solution is to talk to your husband earnestly over this situation. You have probably done that in the past hoping to win him over with one set of solution which he refused. Let me offer you this solution from a guy's perspective and from someone who used to be in your husband's shoes:

Present your evidence of your in-laws and show how they have been using him, and to the detriment of your family. Just be cut and dry and let him know how disgusted you are with their behavior. Tell him he needs to grow some ballz and earn some respect from you and your kids and that he'll lose that respect each time his parents walk all over him. He needs to choose his wife and kids over his parents.

By the talk of all this money, it's obvious that you are pretty sore over it. I suggest you tell your husband that you two should keep your money separate from each other but also create a third account where you and your husband pool money for the "benefit of the children," like a family future fund. That way, if he still wants to help his family he is free to use his half, but at least you know he's doing his part to take care of you and the kids. That seems to me a fair alternative.

I don't think you should force him to change if he doesn't want to. Sometimes people are brainwashed so bad that it's hard for them to see the big picture clearly. Being pious isn't a particularly bad trait, but a rather stupid one when you have parents that tend to use you.

Oh my fvcking deity.

Your kids need you. Your kids need their father. That's it. They don't need anyone else. Grandparents are nice to have. If they don't love the kids, your attitude should be "Who gives a flying fvck."

Consider your husband's spending on his family a cost of doing business. You voluntarily signed up to do things with this guy. Your judgment sucked, so now you are paying one way or another. That is how things work. Bad decisions are costly.

Quit feeling sorry for your kids and yourself. You must not depend on anyone for anything, except yourself.

"Waaaaa, my in-laws love other kids more than my kids." Boo fvcking hoo. You don't hear people jumping on a train track to save their in-laws, do you? So why do you expect good things from the in-laws? They are one person away from reverting back to being strangers anyway.


P.S. These fvcking nasty chicken wings make me swear too much today.

Stay away from your inlaw.Even just talk about how suck they are is already a waste of your time, your effort and your energy.Your husband sounds like a door mat to me...some people were born to let other people take advantage of them.You should talk to him directly, tell him how you feel whenever you go visit the law...End of the day, it's you to you and who give a **** to the inlaw.My blood is boiling when i read your story...they are really big bully.

[QUOTE=cumgetit;9276731].
My hubby's brothers and their wives never had to pay any board or lodging, and my parents in laws supported them all. This is because my father in law works at the temple as a treasurer, so they are quite comfortable.

:Cry:[/QUOTE]

Something sounds very wrong with this statement. Your inlaws are well off because the father in-law is the treasurer of the temple...

I took it from the statement that your father in-law uses temple money for his own personal expenses?

[QUOTE=SaltedFish;9278772]Something sounds very wrong with this statement. Your inlaws are well off because the father in-law is the treasurer of the temple...

I took it from the statement that your father in-law uses temple money for his own personal expenses?[/QUOTE]

I had thought about it ....I am wondering too...

Look, you chose to come into an unrecognized marriage by your out-laws, the consequences you have to pay is still being unrecognized. There isn't a way to solve other people problem but there are ways to change your thought about them. Your husband should be the one who make peace and construct the fence between you and your out-laws, if he ain't doing that then your relationship between you and your in-law collapse. The thing I never could understand people that being Buddish or work at the Temple and doesn't act like one, it is pathetic when parents expect their children to change but they won't, I really confuse there but that another story. You can't control how they thought about you and your kids but you cantrol how you responde to them, again, it is your choice that you have to make whether you want to see them less or not. My advise to you is don't compare, you will always feel unfair, misstreat, disrespect when you compare.

Thanks for all your replies, I really appreciated them.

I had a heart to heart talk with hubby last night. He was upset that I do not want our sons and to hang around his family or attend his so called family gatherings. Hubby feels that I am trying to control him and his actions. I, on the other hand told him many times, that it's not my intentions to control him at all. It is just that, I do not want to be present or my children to be present at those gatherings. Hubby feels that he loses "face" if only he turns up and the kids and I choose to not attend.

You are right about him being "piggy in the middle", I have never tried to ask hubby to choose me and the kids over his family. I know, I would tread along an evil path if I ever did that. I told hubby, that he is forever welcome to visit his family and attend to their needs if anything arises, but I shall not be there. But hubby, still wants us to all turn up like a "united front".

As for your query about my father in law being an temple treasurer, well it is implied that some of it goes to his benefits. I mean, hubby and I work pretty hard earning double incomes, hubby's income goes into paying only for our mortgage, while mine goes into paying for all the bills, food, healthcare, childcare, gifts, personal spendings and everything you can think of. Yet, we are considered to be middle income earners overhere. But truthfully, we seriously feel the financial pinch, ever since we got married.

My parents in laws are different, only my father in law works and he does not earn that much at the clothing factory and mother in law has been a housewife all her life. Yet they were supporting three of their children (hubby's brothers and sister) who are married with kids and were living at home for several years, all living under their roof. Where do they get the money from to support so many people? Yet every two years my parents in laws would go to Vietnam and Taiwan for a holiday for two months.

I pay for the utility bills in Sydney, and it works out to be 20k a year for our little family (ie two adults and two kids). Imagine paying all the utility bills for ten people living in the same house! Where is all the money coming from?

Hi,

It is unfortunate that you and your in law dont get along for whatever the issues were. However, base on what i read from your post it does sound like you are jealous of your brothers in law. You and your husband both have a good jobs and able to support yourself and your family but still wants parents in law to support your family. Do
you really want to be supported by your parents in law??? Do you really want to be a burden for your in laws? You are old enough to be married and have kids then of course dont expect anyone to support your family? Do you expect the same from your own parents i.e provide shelter, pay for all your bills etc? I am approximately the same age as you are. When i was single and lived at home with my parents, I had to help out as well. When i was at university i had a part time job, although the income was not that much but I helped my parents by contributing a few hundred dollars a month just to help them to pay the bills. As soon i got married, i moved out and bought my own place, i dont complaint why my in law dont take me in like yourself. Not only that, sometime we give some money to our parents including my husband's parents so they can spend on whatever they like.

If your father in law doesnt earn that much, so are you implying that he steals from the temple??? It is very bad of you for making such assumption about your father in law when you dont even know the fact. Maybe your brother in laws do pays your parents in law some money to pay the bills? If they dont they they should be ashame of themselves.

My parents dont really work but they able to go overseas once a year because normally when they go overseas they dont spend that much like we do. Also whenever they go we always give them some money to spend as well.

what are the ultility bills? electricity, gas and water, and phone? Are you exagerating? I live in Australia too and i have 5 people in my household 2 adults and 3 kids and i dont pay anywhere close to that much? electricity approx $1500/year, gas $1000/year, water service and usage max $1500/year, phone $600/year. So add all up it is no where near $20k....so base on that I think you must be exaggerating on everything else as well.

It is hard to believe any parents would hate the daughter in law just because she has different religion especially they are buddist. My understanding that buddist they are more open in term of accepting other religions. Maybe you need to look at yourself, your personality to have a better understanding of why you dont have a good relationship with your parents in law.

from reading your post, i have the following understanding
1) you are jealous of your brother in laws
2) you assume/think that your father in law steals from the temple
3) you are fit and healthy and have a good job but still expect old parents in law who hardly earn enough to support you (greedy and unconsidered)
4) you exaggerated about how much you pay for ultility bills. Hence, your story is full of exaggeration.
5) you are materialistic!! The thought that count when someone give you something. Your parents in law bought your kids something as a gifts...all you care is about how expensive the gifts are.

Sorry the truth might not easy to hear....but this is my understanding from your post. I might be wrong but this is how i see it..
For your own happiness with your husband i think you should step back and try to have a good understanding why your relationship with your in laws so bad instead of making assumption that just because you are catholic instead of buddist. I am sure your husband loves his parents as much as you love your own parents and for sure you would not like him to have such a bad relationship with your side. Just put yourself into his shoes and you can feel/see his feeling. I hope one day you will have a good relationship with your in laws.....


[QUOTE=cumgetit;9281872]Thanks for all your replies, I really appreciated them.

I had a heart to heart talk with hubby last night. He was upset that I do not want our sons and to hang around his family or attend his so called family gatherings. Hubby feels that I am trying to control him and his actions. I, on the other hand told him many times, that it's not my intentions to control him at all. It is just that, I do not want to be present or my children to be present at those gatherings. Hubby feels that he loses "face" if only he turns up and the kids and I choose to not attend.

You are right about him being "piggy in the middle", I have never tried to ask hubby to choose me and the kids over his family. I know, I would tread along an evil path if I ever did that. I told hubby, that he is forever welcome to visit his family and attend to their needs if anything arises, but I shall not be there. But hubby, still wants us to all turn up like a "united front".

As for your query about my father in law being an temple treasurer, well it is implied that some of it goes to his benefits. I mean, hubby and I work pretty hard earning double incomes, hubby's income goes into paying only for our mortgage, while mine goes into paying for all the bills, food, healthcare, childcare, gifts, personal spendings and everything you can think of. Yet, we are considered to be middle income earners overhere. But truthfully, we seriously feel the financial pinch, ever since we got married.

My parents in laws are different, only my father in law works and he does not earn that much at the clothing factory and mother in law has been a housewife all her life. Yet they were supporting three of their children (hubby's brothers and sister) who are married with kids and were living at home for several years, all living under their roof. Where do they get the money from to support so many people? Yet every two years my parents in laws would go to Vietnam and Taiwan for a holiday for two months.

I pay for the utility bills in Sydney, and it works out to be 20k a year for our little family (ie two adults and two kids). Imagine paying all the utility bills for ten people living in the same house! Where is all the money coming from?[/QUOTE]

Dear: Hoacucvang

Quote: "It is unfortunate that you and your in law dont get along for whatever the issues were. However, base on what i read from your post it does sound like you are jealous of your brothers in law."

I am not jealous of them at all, I do not agree with the way my parents in law treat my hubby and children so unfairly, especially when we are always the first people they'd call whenever they need anything. Hence, I do not think that suffer from the "treat me mean keep me keen" syndrome. Treat my little family properly, then you ask me for the world. Yes, it is as simple as that!


Quote: "You and your husband both have a good jobs and able to support yourself and your family but still wants parents in law to support your family. Do
you really want to be supported by your parents in law??? Do you really want to be a burden for your in laws? You are old enough to be married and have kids then of course dont expect anyone to support your family? Do you expect the same from your own parents i.e provide shelter, pay for all your bills etc?"

No, we are middle income earners, with tertiary education, we struggle but we can afford to look after ourselves and each other. However, what my parents inlaw said to us initially was that we were not welcome to live with them, but they welcomed all their other children to live with them after their children got married! I did not like the fact that we were being singled out specically and targeted. FYI, my hubby's brothers and their wives, all have jobs. They all work. My mother in law cooks and cleans after them, even until this day. Interestingly, my hubby and I "never" asked the parents in laws if we could live with them, it was "them" who uttered those words first!

Quote: "I am approximately the same age as you are."

And what age are you???

Quote: "When i was single and lived at home with my parents, I had to help out as well. When i was at university i had a part time job, although the income was not that much but I helped my parents by contributing a few hundred dollars a month just to help them to pay the bills."

Lol, good for you. When I was twenty I had two jobs, I live with my mother, step-father and my three step siblings. My step-father always made me pay $500 a week for living in his house. That was $2000 a month. I never had much money for myself after that, so yes I "do" know about so called "contributions".

As for my hubby who lived at home with his parents, he told me that he had to contribute aswell, but once again he was singled out, all of his siblings "did not" contribute at all. How's that for double standards??? Can anyone be a little more blatant than that???

Quote: "As soon i got married, i moved out and bought my own place, i dont complaint why my in law dont take me in like yourself. Not only that, sometime we give some money to our parents including my husband's parents so they can spend on whatever they like."

Well, that's good, you're pious to the utmost level.

Quote: "If your father in law doesnt earn that much, so are you implying that he steals from the temple??? It is very bad of you for making such assumption about your father in law when you dont even know the fact."

Yes, and the truth is ugly. Is it not???

Quote: "Maybe your brother in laws do pays your parents in law some money to pay the bills? If they dont they they should be ashame of themselves."

No, they do not pay for the bills. My father in law told us that he was the one paying for them, since he told us that he wanted to look after his children and their families "properly". I guess we have to believe his words, since he is a "devout buddhist" after all.

Quote: "My parents dont really work but they able to go overseas once a year because normally when they go overseas they dont spend that much like we do. Also whenever they go we always give them some money to spend as well."

I was honestly going to pay for my hubby's parents trip to VN last year. But, what my mother in law said about my son, was in fact unacceptable. So I peddled back. Like I said, treat my family with a hint of consideration, then you can have anything in my world. However, if my hubby and children are being blatantly discriminated, then what is there to ask of me?

Quote: "what are the ultility bills? electricity, gas and water, and phone? Are you exagerating? I live in Australia too and i have 5 people in my household 2 adults and 3 kids and i dont pay anywhere close to that much? electricity approx $1500/year, gas $1000/year, water service and usage max $1500/year, phone $600/year. So add all up it is no where near $20k....so base on that I think you must be exaggerating on everything else as well."

Really??? I must then learn from you, since I have been trying hard to reduce our leakages. But I have been unsuccessful. I shall tell you what I have been paying ok and I will add them in annual terms:

(a) Childcare: $12000 (ie: $300 a week for 40 weeks for two boys) (they go to private family daycare)
(b) Electricity: $2000 (ie $500 a quarter for 4 quarters)
(c) Gas: $1200 ($100 a month for 12 months)
(d) Home and contents insurance: $1000 a year with Commonwealth Bank
(e) Water bills: $1200 a year
(f) Council rates: $1600 a year
(g) Private health insurance: $2000 a year (@ $80 a fortnight with MBF)
(h) Registration, greenslip & comprehensive insurance for car 1 (sedan): $1300 a year
(i) Registration, greenslip & comprehensive insurance for car 2 (suv): $1500 a year
(j) Petrol for two cars: $3600 a year (@ ~ $70 a week)
(k) Train ticket for hubby: $2600 a year (@ $50 a week)
(l) Internet: $1200 a year (ie $100 a month)
(m) Cell/mobile: $720 a year ($60 a month)

I need to stop here cos the total is over 30k already, not to mention I have not included money for mortgage, groceries, gifts, pocket money for myself and hubby, accidentals, miscellaneous items, ect, the list is endless! You probably do not pay for so many things. But I do, are I not lucky?

FYI, in my little family, I handle and pay all the bills, my hubby is only in charge of the mortgage.

Quote: "It is hard to believe any parents would hate the daughter in law just because she has different religion especially they are buddist. My understanding that buddist they are more open in term of accepting other religions. Maybe you need to look at yourself, your personality to have a better understanding of why you dont have a good relationship with your parents in law."

You sound very naive if you think that people do not do that. Well, I know for a fact that my Catholic religion is the backbone of my in law's hatred towards myself and my sons who were proudly baptised as Catholics. Ironically, it was the Christian countries that brought, welcomed, nurtured and educated all the Vietnamese boat people back in the 70s, 80s and early 90s. Yet, my in laws do not like Christians at all, is Australia not a predominantly Christian country???

What should we call this in Vietnamese? "An chen da bat"???

Quote: "from reading your post, i have the following understanding
1) you are jealous of your brother in laws
2) you assume/think that your father in law steals from the temple
3) you are fit and healthy and have a good job but still expect old parents in law who hardly earn enough to support you (greedy and unconsidered)
4) you exaggerated about how much you pay for ultility bills. Hence, your story is full of exaggeration.
5) you are materialistic!! The thought that count when someone give you something. Your parents in law bought your kids something as a gifts...all you care is about how expensive the gifts are."

When the other grandkids were borm, my parents in laws brought them everything, basically the whole baby's nursery which cost over a thousand dollars.

When my first born son was born, he'd received a whole bag of second hand clothes which had holes in them, and two cotton outfits which were so thin and were not suitable for winter as our son was born in winter. Then came the grandkids birthdays and christmas (being such devout buddhists, my in laws love celebrating Christmas!), my sons would receive inexpensive presents which were bought from the bargain stores that cost about $10 while all the other gradnkids would get a $200 present from Toys R Us.

This is too blatant for my pallet!

Put yourself in my shoes now, and tell me how would you feel about that??? Do you like your sons or kids to be treated like that? What kind of a parent are you if that is your preference???

Quote: "Sorry the truth might not easy to hear....but this is my understanding from your post. I might be wrong but this is how i see it.."

You are wrong!

Quote: "For your own happiness with your husband i think you should step back and try to have a good understanding why your relationship with your in laws so bad instead of making assumption that just because you are catholic instead of buddist."

It is the religion, not my personality. My in laws detest my hubby, my sons and me of course.

I remember one time, my mother in law called up my hubby a few days before Christmas, I had already, bought and wrapped many presents for the in laws as I am always organised and super prepared. She told us not to come over on xmas day they are not celebrating anything that year. Anyway, we came over on Xmas day around lunch time cos we wanted to see them. Guess what we'd witnessed??? They were actually having a Christmas party with all their favourite children and grandchildren! My father in law was so embarrassed, he'd ran upstairs to hide. My mother in law tried to make things better by asking us:
" Bay gio co do an con du ne, tui bay co muon an khong?"
(we have leftovers, do you want some?")

My hubby was upset and devasted. That was our Christmas that year!

Quote: "I am sure your husband loves his parents as much as you love your own parents and for sure you would not like him to have such a bad relationship with your side."

Oh yes, my hubby is very considerate and pious, sometimes to his own disadvantage.

As for my family, my step-father is an evil man, everyone knows that. He'd scammed off me $80k and has not returned it.

Quote: "Just put yourself into his shoes and you can feel/see his feeling."

Emphathy is what I have, but atm I am overwhelmingly exhausted. I just do not want to bear witness to such treatment being directed at my hubby and my sons. I do not care if it is just me, cos I know I am just an outsider.

Quote: "I hope one day you will have a good relationship with your in laws....."

Wishful thinking, perhaps "pigs can fly"???

Wow, that was long. I don't know what you should do to make it the way you want but I know one thing for sure for being a Catholic that you should pray. I don't know much about Catholic or Christian but once, the wise old man told me these things.
- Happy moments, praise God.
- Difficult moments, seek God.
- Quiet moments, worship God.
- Painful moments, trust God.
- Every moment, thank God.
I don't believe in it but if you are truly Catholic, you should.

About your husband, not your in-law, he allows his parents to treat him like the Xmas story you told above he was upset and devasted but he still accepted to be treated that way. It is your husband's responsibilty to speak up want he really wants to say to his parents not what his parents want to hear from him. He's probably keep the word "hiếu thảo" in him and afraid to say what he wants to say. Keeping peace within Cha Mẹ and Vợ is a very hard thing to do for Anh Cả in the Viet family. I still think it is Bullsh't though, this is Viet people problem. Sometimes, these problems need to be solved by someone other than those involve or let them solve by themselves.
I think the most important thing for you right now is not focus on his family so much but focus on yours, allow him to visit his parents as he wishes and let him bring the kids with him. On your part, you can choose to stay home as you will but be happy with your decision. This is something your should negotiate with you husband. Other than that, life is a bi'tch, you live and then you will die.

I find you very detailed and meticulous it all your posts and I don't doubt your story at all.

However, I have a few questions..Your belief is that the parent in laws are hostile against your family due to your Catholic Regilion, so may I ask were they unfavorable to your husband prior to him meeting you and marrying you? Or did this treatment appear when you enter into the picture. I am hesitant to believe that the object of their cruelness is due to your regilion. Because if that was the case they would shun only you. They may also disconnect from your husband since he went against them by marrying you. But I can't understand that they would be so spiteful and stingy towards their own grand sons, especially them being sons of their oldest boy.

You mentioned in an earlier post that your husband got a DNA test and it proved that he was their bilogical son...So what brought on the intent to take the test? Did your husband have any doubt that he was their son? I would assumed he an extremely doubt to even go thru the process. So in his heart he knows that he is being treated differently and has questions of his own about his birth. And so did your husband bring this result to your parent in laws attention? Are they even aware he actually got a DNA test to see if he was their son? I find that so sad....the emotional torture that he was going thru.

That brings me to this question...Guess I am looking it at a different angle since I don't believe that the core problem is your regilion. Your regilion may just be the added fired to the frying pan...Were there any infidelity issues at the time your husband was concieved? I don't know but maybe I am watching too many Hong Kong dramas, but maybe just maybe your father in law thinks that your husband is not his son, or something dramatic happen during that period, hence the malicious behavior and the black sheep syndrome.

My Friend,
I can see that you are in pain and bitter. Got it!
Regardless of the "OUT"-law & husband, do not even waste your time and energy talking about them. Give them a chance to be jealous of who you are and regrete for their mistakes. In the meantime, try to better yourself and enjoy the quality time with your children. Love yourself, love your family while you trying educate and up bring your children properly. If opportunity arises, go and get your advance education. Eventually they will be nice to you. Especially with a MD, JD, or Ph.D. behind your name!

Best of luck!

Cumgetit!

The world is full of mean people..I told you stop thinking about them,,just telling people how suck they are is already a waste of your time. A very close friend of mine got treated the same way like yours,, not by her inlaw but by her own parents and relatives. Many times I told her give up visiting those people but she never listen..when those people need her they would call and told her to come over...after they used her they would spit at her, and she always came home with a heart broken. My friends and I didnt know how to help her,,only she can help herself..It is true that blood is thicker than water,,but those people have frozen hearts and treat their own child like enemy ..i am just so confused...i dont know..it sadden me very much when I read or hear your experience or my friend.

I have read all that you've wrote. In my eyes, all I see is a whiner. YOu just whine and whine. People are usualy are your own mirrow image. YOu probably treat them bad (like gave them condescending looks)..hence they treat you bad. It has nothing to do with religion.